Completely Original Opium Box Fairytale
by SarahTonin
Summary: As much as China would like to admit, this is not a completely original story. This is the last full story of the Tomato Box Fairytale Series! I would suggest that you read the other stories first. China gets on the wrong side of a certain red fairy when China has had enough of the westerners taking advantage of her. Her life becomes radically different. RoChu (fem)ChinaxRussia
1. Yin and Yang

In my experience, balance has been the key to survival. And let's just say, I've survived a long time. The only reason why I've lived so long is because I've trained myself of when the time is to be strong and the times to seem submissive. It's all about finding the right balance. Yin and yang. I'm still not perfect at it yet cause I felt like destroying it along with this stupid box.

I'm sick and tired of all these European nations crawling around here and taking advantage of my hospitality. Acting like they owned the place. England was the worst of all, and Hong Kong was actually going to go along with that guy! He said he wanted to learn more of the world or something. Who knew more about the world than me? The western world wasn't all that mattered.

Maybe I should just close off the world again. Just keep things within the family. It's just that the world changes so fast. Nations come and go in the blink of an eye. Dear friends suddenly disappear off the face of the earth. I suppose that was the curse of surviving.

Enough of the sad stuff. Most people would probably wonder what I'm doing shoving this obnoxious crate through the jungle. England brought this stuff to my home that made him see strange thing and made him weirdly happy. It could only be drugs. I freakin warned him not to bring drugs in my country ever again. Honestly, these younger nations are such children. So, of course I and to destroy it. I couldn't let them walk all over me like that.

The problem was how? Burning it would obviously be a bad idea. Burying it didn't seem severe enough. It could easily be dug up again. I could dump the crate in some water. That sounded completely original and not ever done by America. It's different because this was drugs and not tea.

I finally came across a river. This looked like a good place to dump it. I broke open the crate and poured out its contents. Some of the white shiny stuff got on my hands. Wait, this wasn't drugs. The warm sensation told me it was magic. I quickly washed it off in the stream. It was a good thing I had built up some tolerance for magic from my special homemade medicine. Who knows what this could have done to me. Low concentrations like this were no problem, but if I had gotten that whole crate on me, who knew what kind of trouble I'd get into. Just what was England doing in my house with a giant crate of magic?

"Master England! I've finally found...wait, you're not Master England."

A little red figure came flying towards me. She was so cute! With her little red face and her little red wings and her little red dress! Simply adorable. Not to mention she was red, which is my favorite color. She was like a little ray of happiness!

"Ni Hao, little red creature! I am called China, not England."

"Why do you have Master England's magic on you?" she asked.

"Oh, well, I suppose I got a bit on my hands when I was dumping it in the river..."

"YOU DID WHAT!" she screamed. Red erupted from her like a blazing fire. It felt like her rage would consume everything in her path.

"What the?" was all I could manage to say.

"HOW DARE YOU EVEN PLACE YOUR UNWORTHY HANDS ON MASTER ENGLAND'S MAGIC!"

"Okay, you seriously need to calm down! And have some respect! If I can hit my boss, who happens to be a DRAGON by the way, with a pillow in the shape of a cat, I will not hesitate to beat you with my wok," I lectured.

"YOU DARE THREATEN ME, PETTY HUMAN? YOUR INSOLENCE WILL BE YOUR DEMISE! OMATAY YATOMA XINOB, I CURSE THEE!"

The red flames reached me. Their flames were a bit hotter than the loose magic from the box, but it still wasn't anything I couldn't handle.

"Is that the best you've got?" I challenged. I started to come at her.

She frowned and the flames turned darker. I could actually feel a bit of burning now. It was only skin deep, but it sent me to the ground.

"You're going to have to do better than that," I continued. It was a shame to go down in a fight when the enemy was holding back.

The little creature gritted her teeth. The flames went nearly black. To my very core, I was being burned alive. I writhed on the ground. I really shouldn't have egged her on. It was unbearable, like I was being charred and melted at the same time. I could feel my strength leaving. Maybe this was finally the end for me.

Through the chaos, I heard, "Go back to whence you came! Evil spirit be gone!" A paper talisman was thrown int the creatures face. She let out a high pitched scream and disappeared.

When she left, the pain started to fade. I tried to pick myself up, and a pair of familiar hands caught me.

"China, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Japan. I don't know how I let that little thing get the best of me. But I feel mostly normal so no harm done." It was a lie. I felt sore all over, but I knew Japan would worry about me too much lie he always did. Soreness was nothing I couldn't handle after all.

I must admit, it was nice to see Japan again. He had moved out some time ago. I missed like crazy. He was like a little brother to me, but all countries must grow up eventually. If he was going to be strong, he'd have to venture out in the world on his own. And now Hong Kong was gone like Japan.

I put on a smile for him. "I'm happy that you came to visit again! It always seems that I keep finding you in a bamboo forest. You're like a little baby panda." He had been so cute when I found him. How could I not take him home with me?

"I'm not a baby. I've gotten quite old." Japan still helped to support my weight.

"Yeah, you've still got nothing on me, kid." Despite my age and soreness, I stepped away from Japan, happy to find that I could in fact support myself. "Now lets go home. I'll make your favorite dumplings!" I walked spritely ahead of him.

* * *

My house had always been noisy. People had always been coming and going. It was considerably less since I had kicked England and France out. They fought literally all the time, but something told me that it was just sexual tension. Korea was making a lot of noise playing one of his games with Japan. Hr lied to make his own sound affects. I had Taiwan and Vietnam helping me in the kitchen.

"Hey, China. Where's Hong Kong?" Taiwan asked me. Vietnam quietly cut the vegetables. I could tell even she was concerned. Even though he really didn't contribute much to the noise, his presence was still missing from our family.

"I really don't want to talk about it," I grumbled. I avoided looking at Taiwan and stirred the rice some more.

"China's just mad because Hong Kong ran away!" Korea called from the living room.

"Hong Kong did not run away!" I yelled back. "He just...decided to live with England for a while. That's all. Now shut up and get this food before it gets cold!"

I scraped the last of the dumplings out of the pan and onto the plate.

"I know what will make you feel a lot better!" Korea was a lot closer than I thought he was. His hands came at me from behind and groped my chest. I nearly dropped the plate of food.

"Korea! Damn it! If I've told you once, I've told you a million times! Stop touching me like that!"

I set the plate down and turned around to punch Korea in the stomach. He just held his hands out in front of him with a devastated look on his face.

"China! What have you done to my boobs! My precious boobs! They're gone!"

"They are not your boobs!" I really didn't have much breasts to begin with, though I usually bound them when I practiced martial arts. The binding did seem a bit loose, but I had been under a lot of stress lately.

"I can't believe it!" Korea continued. "Maybe I should check again..." Korea's hands went for me once more. I was prepared for him this time used his force against him to lock him in a painful hold.

"Ah! Owowowowowowowow! Let go, let go! I give!" Korea yelped.

I let him go. "I don't want to hear anymore from you about my breasts."

Korea sat glumly next to Japan, and the meal finally began. As the food was passed around the table, Korea whispered into Japan's ear.

Japan's face grew red. "I can't say that!" he exclaimed.

"Please, please, please!" Korea begged. "Pretty please with salty tuna on top!"

Japan hesitated a moment and turned to me, blushing deeply. "Forgive my rudeness, but Korea has requested me to ask why your boobs are gone."

I slammed my chopsticks down onto the table. "Damn it, Korea!" I shouted. I barely registered that the chopsticks remained perfectly fine despite the force I thought I used.

* * *

I sighed and pushed back the curtain to the family bath. Maybe what I needed was just a dip in the hot springs. I just felt so exhausted and weak. I undid the ties of my jacket. As I suspected, my bindings were a bit loose. I thought I had done them properly this morning. I unwound myself. Wow, it really was sad. My breasts really were nonexistent. My shoulders appeared to have broadened along with some other muscles. Had I really been working out that much more lately? Maybe I should cut back tomorrow.

I slipped of my pants and noticed something odd. There should have been a slight curve of resistance. Instead, my hands were met by linear straight body lines. Then I looked down and noticed something that shouldn't even be there in the first place.

I gasped and slipped. The ground hurt more than it should. I needed to calm down. This wasn't so big a deal. To be a balanced person, I needed to be equal parts feminine and masculine, right? A sudden change in gender shouldn't faze me. It was not like I was particularly fond of being female. It wasn't the end of the world. Plus, who knows, I could even learn more from the world. Being a guy might be a good experience for me. Something new after all these centuries.

I tied my hair back and sunk into the hot water. As I soaked, I contemplated. How exactly had I gotten this way? I supposed it was probably from the little red flying creature. Her magic must have done something to me after all. Maybe that was the reason I felt so weak as well.

I dipped my head under the water. When I came back up, I could see Japan standing at the entrance of the bath with only a towel wrapped his lower half. His blushing face was distorted by the fog.

"Excuse me! I am so sorry! I'll leave right away!" he stammered.

"No need. We are practically family." I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my lower half as seemed so foreign to me,but there was no need for me to cover my chest anymore. "I was just about to leave anyway. You should enjoy the bath.

Japan had a reserved yet shocked look on his face. "Pardon me, but China, you're a man?"

I turned back to him and shrugged. "We learn new things everyday," I said simply, or cryptically. It really depended on how you read the mood.

**AN: Although it may not seem like it right now, I swear this is a RoChu and not a ChinaxJapan. **


	2. The Fall of a Dynasty

Once I got over going to the bathroom, I found myself several sides of being a guy that I actually liked. Practicing the martial arts were much easier when I actually had the option of taking off my top. I was even excited for the possibility of all the muscles. However, I found myself to be surprisingly lacking. I couldn't even work up the strength I had when I was a girl. I got nowhere near my previous limit. I found myself waking up earlier each morning to try to work myself back up. Nothing seemed to be working. Like I had hit some unknown plateau and was sinking fast.

I wiped the sweat from my brow. I had only been walking around for about an hour and I was already exhausted. I trekked up the mountains and through the forest. It was nice to greet the morning roaming through the countryside. The sun stained the morning sky my favorite red. The clouds were died the lightest pink.

It was another beautiful day. It was maybe the second most beautiful I could remember. Days like this were meant to be enjoyed. I found a nice spot on the cliff side and meditated. I focused on the sounds of the birds' songs. I felt the light cool breeze from the north that caressed my face. The soft earth beneath my feet, so warm and strong. I harmonized with the hum of nature. I felt every trickle of the nearby stream. The wind rustled the leaves the same way it carried the ends of my hair across my face. The tickling sensation reminded me that I forgot to tie it back again. Wait, I was getting distracted. Nature was harmonious and balanced just like I was striving to be. Alright, let's see...there was...the sound of a twig snapping. An ever so slight intake of breath. The sound of something sharp and metal cutting through the air.

I quickly rolled out of the way. Someone was attacking me. Why did it have to be now? I hadn't had any indication that someone was planning to start another war. Was I just out of practice? Please oh please let me strength hold out.

I focused again. I couldn't just rely on my strength. I needed to cunning. I needed to know who exactly I was up against. A few feet away from where I was sitting was a kunai knife. I froze. This couldn't be happening.

Suddenly, a sharp jarring pain ran all down my back. I should have stopped it, but I just didn't react. I screamed and fell on the ground. Now was not the time to be sentimental. I needed to move. Even though my body screamed in protest, I twisted around on the ground and threw dirt into my assailants eyes.

I took off. I found the least steep side of the cliff and slid down into the jungle. I quickly climbed one of the huge trees and jumped from limb to limb. At least now we were on equal grounds. I ducked out of the way of a ninja star. So he had already caught up.

"You know, it's not very honorable to attack someone's back, Japan."

There was no response. "Oh, don't you give me the silent treatment. I know it's you. Who do you think taught and gave you those weapons?" I said continuing to run. Damn, my back was burning. And I had really liked this jacket, too.

I heard Japan sigh, "I could say the same to you, China. It's not very honorable to let yourself be attacked from the back. Or running away for that matter."

I smiled a bit. "Who says I'm running away? I'm just looking for a better battleground."

There was silence for a moment. Japan didn't attempt to attack me, but I ran faster just in case. "So who set you up to this? I swear, if this is another one of Korea's games..."

"Do you really think Korea could make me do something like this?" Japan said irritated.

The tension in the silence is tangible. "You had to have known this was coming. Everyone's been on edge since the westerners came back. They have advanced pretty far in that short time, haven't they? My boss has been urging me not to fall behind. To show that I am not a country to be messed with. That I am strong and powerful and someone to be respected. That is why he told me to attack you, China.

I delayed as long as possible. I tried to make excuses of why it was wrong. We are practically family. You raised me and taught me almost everything I know. I could never attack you. You were a woman."

And now I could see. Why Japan had left so suddenly. "Only you're not," Japan continued. "Once one excuse fell, my boss became more demanding. He told me the time was now while you were weak and vulnerable. I would never get an opportunity like this again."

In a sick way, I admired Japan's boss's strategy. I just didn't like it implemented against me. The trees started to thin out. It wasn't much further. That was a good thing. I didn't know how much longer I could hold out.

The place I chose was basically a giant rock. Like a hard cool desert. Barren. Nowhere to hide. I stopped running and turned around to face my opponent. Japan stopped as well. This was our face off. I had to fight my little brother. Man to man. I owed him that much. I felt nauseous, but that could just be from blood loss.

Japan pulled out his katana with a sad look on his face. He hadn't cleaned it yet. The blood from my back was drying on his blade. I took my stance.

"Aren't you going to draw your swords?" Japan called out to me.

"Sorry, I left them in my other meditation clothes. When I become one with nature, I like to hack up trees only on Wednesdays. Besides, I don't need them. I think we both know how this s going to end."

I really don't like to make a habit of thinking so negatively. Japan had grown to be strong. I was barely able to defeat him the last time we had a practice fight. I was no match against him now. Was it wrong for me to be proud of him?

"Let's finish this quickly." Japan ran at me with his sword. He swung it down and I caught it in my hands. I winced. I hadn't caught it properly. The blood from my palms trickled down. I swung my body around to kick him in the face.

He stumbled but maintained control of his weapon. I smiled. He really had gotten quite good. I followed through with the rest of the swing to punch him in the stomach. He caught my arm in his grip. He swung his sword at me again. I used my other arm to deflect it, but not enough. It sliced through my thigh rendering that leg useless. I wouldn't be able to support my weight. I used Japan's grip on me to flip and use my good leg to push off from him.

I balanced on my good leg. I didn't have many options left. Block or dodge, and I was running out of dodge.

Japan swung at me one last time. I caught it. In my arm. It hit against bone and stopped. I twisted my arm making the hold stronger but excruciatingly more painful. The katana fell out of Japan's grip. I swung my arm, and the katana flew several yards away. Without the blade, nothing stopped the blood from flowing out. I was getting dizzy, and my vision started to blur. I teetered on my leg.

"I'm surprised you've held out for this long," two Japan's said very gravely. Two arms swung out and hit me across the head. They knocked me to the rock ground. I hit the back of my head hard. It didn't take long for the blurs to be replaced by black. So this was it. This was the end of the great Chinese empire. The final dynasty. It was finally my turn. Balance has a funny way of working. I was born a girl, yet I was strong. I would die a man, yet I was weak.

The world had changed so much in my lifetime. No one really needed me anymore. My family had all grown up; they'd be alright. It would take them a while to forgive Japan, and it would take Japan even longer to forgive himself. I didn't worry. They were all still so young. I heard tales that your life is supposed to flash before your eyes, so why was my last thought a pair of purple eyes?


	3. Flower at the Edge of the Jungle

I shuffled one foot in front of the other. It was slowly getting warmer, but I wasn't near warm enough. Shivers still raked through my body. I was so hungry. I hadn't had any real food since I don't know when. Could I chance another?

I opened my palm to count the seeds in my hand. I only had two left. I must have eaten more than I realized. My sister Ukraine told me that they'd help make me feel better, but I was still so hungry. How long ago had I eaten one of these seeds? I pushed one of the medium sized black seeds between my lips. I chewed slowly in vain, hoping that this gesture would make the seed last longer.

The only thing I could do was put one foot in front of the other. I convinced myself not to turn back and go home. I doubted I even had enough energy to go back. It's not like there was anything waiting for me. Just pain and cold.

My foot for caught on the other. I found myself face down in a muddy pile. At least this water was warm and wet instead of cold unforgiving ice. I had given up trying to get up. What was the point anymore? I'd rather die in this warm place than at the hands of the Mongols back home.

Over the babble of the nearby stream, I heard a soft exhale. I froze in my puddle. Had they followed me this far? I slowly lifted my face, eyes wide.

She was like a legend. A fairytale. One of those rare things called flowers. That's what she was. A flower. A beautiful red flower dancing at the edge of a forest.

All I could do was watch. Her eyes were closed as she simply breathed in and put. Her parted lips came together and her eyes opened. She pulled out two twin beautiful curved swords from who knows where. Then, she really was dancing. Her swords shined in the elusive green jungle light. It was a strange exotic dance. Her arms were swinging out, and her legs jutted out in powerful kicks. Her body flipped and twisted in strange and indescribably beautiful ways.

She stopped. She put her swords away. She held her arms delicately in front of her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She took a sort of running start towards and went on a long series of flips. She leaped over where I lay and landed gracefully on the balls of her feet. A grin of satisfaction lit her face and she slowly opened her brown eyes.  
She looked surprised when she saw me. I didn't know how to react. Luckily, she reacted before I did.

"Ah!" she exclaimed as she easily scooped me up into her arms. She was stronger than she looked. She squeezed my muddy body tight against hers. "You're so cute! Where did you come from?"

I still couldn't react or say anything. She used the large sleeve of her dress to wipe the mud from my face. The fabric was soft and smooth. The flower details were muddled by my mud. She didn't seem to mind. She just smiled brightly. "Are you hungry?" she asked.  
I finally did something. I smiled almost as brightly as she did and nodded my head. She squealed and squeezed me against herself again. "Soooo cute!" she exclaimed again. She lifted me a bit higher so I could grip onto her a bit better. "Hold on tight. It's a bit of a walk."

I linked my arms around her neck. I ran my fingers delicately down her hair. It was about as silky smooth as her dress was. She walked so smoothly that it didn't even feel like we were stepping. It was like were flying. Maybe I had died back in that mud puddle. What had I done to deserve this heaven? I wouldn't mind if this lasted for the rest of eternity.

* * *

All too soon, we came to a big place. It looked like a miniature palace. The corners of the roof were slightly turned upward toward the sky. We jostled a bit as she skipped up the stairs.

She went the opened door. The place looked empty. She groaned and set me down. I pouted slightly, but I didn't let her see.

Suddenly a loud yell broke the silence . A loud boy who looked a bit older than me came running from the hallway. The lady flicked his head, and he fell down. A red mark showed up, and he looked like he about to cry.

"Nice try, Korea. You still need practice on the art of surprise and sneaking up on someone. It would help if you always didn't try to attack me once I came through the door. You could at least give me enough time to take off my shoes."

She slipped off her muddy slippers. A girl came into the room. She didn't say anything, but she acknowledged My flower's presence by nodding at her. She held another little girl's hand in hers. The little girl grinned a slightly toothless smile and let go of the older girl's hand. She toddled her way over to My flower. She lifted her arms.

My flower squatted down and returned the girl's hug.

"I got you, teacher!" the girl said in a high pitched voice.

"You sure did, Taiwan, but you still haven't got the attacking part down yet."

She shifted Taiwan's weight to one arm and lifted one hand to her.

"Ha!" Taiwan yelled as she placed her little fist in my flower's palm in a pathetic punch.

She laughed and set the little girl down. "Good job! Now why don't you and Vietnam go and set up for lunch. We have a guest today!"

The children noticed me. I gave them a tentative smile. They gasped and ran away.

"Sorry, they're still not very good with strangers." My flower smiled down at me.  
She started walking, and I followed her. She suddenly stopped, and I ran into her. She looked up to the ceiling. There was boy who looked about my age hiding up in the rafters.  
"You're getting better, Japan!"

The boy jumped down and landed on the balls of his feet.

"I was noticed. I still have much to learn." Japan placed his hands together and bowed slightly to China. "Welcome home, China. Please continue to take care of me, sensei."

So the flower's name was China. it was the most beautiful name I had ever heard. China returned the bow. Another little boy waddled into the room. He didn't have much of an expression. He didn't look scared of me like the other kids. He tugged at the hem of China's dress.

"I'm hungry," he said simply.

China patted his head. "I'll get lunch ready in a bit, Hong Kong. Until then, why don't you help your sisters in the kitchen while I go clean up."

Hong Kong waddled off. China smiled down at me and grabbed my hand.

"Come on! I'll help you take a bath!"

"China, are you sure that's alright?" Japan said, concern growing on his face.

"Oh, it's fine. I'm old. There's not much I haven't seen. And I'll be sure to keep my clothes on."

China led me down the hallway. We entered a humid room. China looked around a bit. She opened one of the drawers and pulled out a light pair pants. She slipped it on under her dress and unwrapped herself. I could feel my face grow red. I had never seen a woman wear a pair of pants before. Her chest was hidden under thick bandaged. Her stomach and shoulders were painted with several lines of scars. She caught me staring, and I looked away. I turned away and took off my pants and shirt.

"I'm sorry about your pretty dress," I muttered nervously.

"That's alright. They're only clothes." I could hear the grin in her voice. Her words confused me. Only clothes? Where I am from, clothes were the difference between life and death.

"I don't think you'll need your scarf in there. It's pretty hot."

I reflexively touched the scarf that my sister gave me. I shook my head. I tucked the ends in the wrapped portion around my neck so that if I was careful, the scarf wouldn't get wet. I grabbed China's outstretched hand as she led me to the bath.

The water was hot. Way warmer than any of my baths back home. China scrubbed at my skin with strange smelling soaps. I could feel the soreness in my limbs disappearing.

"I think you can handle the lower half yourself," China said. Her cheeks were a light shade of pink. I took the soap from her, and she swam off.

Her head came back from underwater once I had finished. She was facing away from me. I swam over to where she was and latched on to her back.

"You all done?" she asked.

I nodded against her back. "Can I wash your back?" I offered.

"Sure! Go ahead!" China pulled her long black wet hair to the front. I scrubbed her back. It was white and smooth. It wasn't marred by scars like her front was.

There was a loud crash. China's head whipped towards the door. A tiny frown was on her face. "That better not be my good tea set," China said to herself.

She waded out of the bath and back into the changing room. I followed her. She tied her hair back and wrapped a clean, simpler dress around herself. She took off her soaked pants. She left the room. A moment later, her head reappeared at the doorway.

"You look about Japan's size. You can borrow some of his clothes." Her face disappeared again. I found a drawer with Japan's name on it. The clothes were folded neatly. I opened them up. How in the world was I supposed to wear them?

* * *

After a while, I reappeared from the room. I found my way to the kitchen by following my nose to the delicious smell. China was consoling a crying Taiwan. Vietnam, Korea, and Japan were cleaning up some broken pottery. Hong Kong was sitting at the table nibbling on some sort of vegetable.

Korea saw me first and broke out laughing. I could my face growing red. Did I look weird? The other kids were trying to hold by their laughter.

China looked at me then. She smiled a bit. "Japan, could you show our friend how to wear a kimono?"

Japan didn't look to pleased to see me wearing his clothes, but he led me away. Even as he helped me with the clothes, we shared a look that acknowledged that we would probably never be friends. We would just put up with each other now for China's sake.

"Japan!" China called. "It's time to eat!" Japan gave one last glance, nodded to me, and brought me back to the kitchen.


	4. Flower Breaking Through the Tundra

Taiwan's face scrunched as she struggled to keep the heavy tea kettle up. Her hand wobbled as she poured the hot tea into the tiny cups. Her eyes lit up as she filled up the last one.

"China! I did it!" she enthused.

"You did great, Taiwan! You only spilled a little bit this time." China took a cloth and wiped up the liquid that remained on the table. "Now, do you remember who gets their tea first?"

Taiwan brought her finger to her lip as she went deep into thought. She took one cup and handed it to China.

"China's the oldest, so you get it first. Then, it's Korea..."

"Taiwan got it wrong again! Everyone knows I'm the oldest! Everything originated in Korea, you know..." Korea declared. Taiwan's face fell.

China reached across the table and smacked Korea lightly in the arm. "Don't listen to him, Taiwan. You were right. After Korea, who's next?"

Taiwan's face lit up again and went back to passing out cups. She gave one to Japan, then Vietnam, Hong Kong, and then herself.

I couldn't really tell the basis in which she passed out the cups. I thought it was by age, but from their looks I was really confused. Korea looked pretty young, but he ended up being the second oldest.

"I got it right, right China?" Taiwan asked.

"Almost. You forgot someone." China indicated towards me.

Taiwan turned toward quickly with her eyes wide. There was one cup left, and it remained empty.

"I'm sorry," Taiwan stammered. She quickly picked up the teapot and poured out tea for me. Her hands shook as she gave me my cup. The drink stabilized under my touch and she quickly took her hands away.

As soon as China took a sip, the others brought the warm drink top their lips. I did the same. The hot drink was bitter, but I was used to that. To drink went down warm and had a calming relieving effect on me. This was different than the drinks I was used to. I was used to the cool clear liquid to settle as a fire in my belly and make my mind chaotic. I kind of missed it.

"Do you have any vodka?" I asked.

China nearly spit out her tea. She had taken too big of a gulp and burnt her tongue. She fanned at her mouth.

"What's vodka? Can I have some too, China?" Korea asked. His eyes were bright with curiosity. The others had the same brightness, though they didn't say anything. I smiled a bit. I liked how something about me had sparked their interest. I wanted them to like me.

China recovered. "You may certainly not, Korea. I don't keep in habit of serving such young nations alcohol."

"Aw, but China! This guy's had it! Plus that Italy guy who visited a while ago drank wine, and he's younger than any of us."

"Well, you are not Italy. I have no idea what came over the Roman Empire. He can't just leave all those kids unattended like that." China rolled her eyes.

"Italy came over again? What did he want this time?" Japan said.

"Trading. He wanted more of my 'pwetty silk fabwics.' I worry about him sometimes, but at least he's good business," China said as she served the food. There was plenty. More than I had seen in a long time. Noodles, rice, chicken, and dumplings.

Japan rolled his eyes. "He probably wouldn't find them so pretty if he knew how you made them."

China pointed her chopsticks at Japan. "Don't you dare tell him. You want to keep eating, don't you?"

"Are you really that desperate after the Mongols?" Japan asked as he grabbed more rice.

"Where!" Korea squealed. He hid under the table.

China placed her chopsticks on the table. "Can we not talk about this at the table? It's done. I drove them out and that is that. You were lucky that that storm blew them back from you or you would probably be just as 'desperate' as I am."

I wasn't quite sure what was happening. Everything had suddenly become so cold. The whole world was shaking. My breaths came in and out in short huffs. I slid back in my spot. China rushed from her spot to where I was. She brought me to her arms and tried to still my shaking body.

"You're safe here. The khan won't be able to get you."

I didn't stop shaking until her lips touched my forehead ever so lightly. I sniffed and wiped back the tears that were forming in my eyes.

She squeezed me. "You feeling better?"

I nodded.

"Good. Eat up. You are far too skinny." I went back to my spot and filled my plate. I shoveled the food into my mouth. It was so good. I hadn't had anything this good in a long time.

"Hey, you must be at least part Asian, right? Then why is your hair white?" Korea asked me.

My mouth was full, so I couldn't respond. I swallowed, but Japan answered for me.

"Korea, you can't just ask people why their hair is white."

"Oh? Then, how did he get here?" Korea asked.

This one I could answer. "I walked here. From the north."

The children seemed slightly surprised that I had actually talked.

"How did you get past the wall?" Japan asked.

I shrugged. "I climbed it," I answered simply. Wasn't it obvious?

"You climbed the Great Wall of China?" Japan asked dubiously.

"I got it!" China exclaimed. She slammed her fist into her palm. "You're Kievan Rus!"

"Russia..." I said embarrassed. I liked the way she said my name.

"Russia. Right. Wow, you sure travelled a long way."

I shrugged again and smiled. She kept saying my name. I wished she'd say it some more and hold me and kiss me more. I wanted to be happy with her.

"Kievan? Isn't that the country with the impaler? You've killed hundreds," Japan accused.

I froze again. It was over. Whatever hopes of being happy with China were gone. She would never love me if she knew what a monster I was. For that moment, I wanted to be a monster. I wanted to kill Japan for telling. I squeezed my fists together

"Japan, you still have much to learn. We all have aspects of our past that we aren't proud of. The world sees certain things differently than others and many situations get misconstrued. I've killed thousands, so you better accuse me before him, if you dare."

Japan became embarrassed and lowered his head. "I'm sorry, sensei, for my ignorance."

"It's okay, Japan. You're still so young. Since you're an island, you haven't had as many interactions with others, but soon you will, and you'll learn." China quietly went back to her tea.

She could understand me. She was a killer, just like me. She didn't give me fake sympathy like my sisters. She didn't even view me as some kind of monster. She knew I did what I had to to survive.

* * *

After we had all finished eating, Vietnam and Japan cleaned up the table. Korea, Hong Kong, and Taiwan went off to play. China went back to the changing room and grabbed our pile of clothes. She smiled back at me when she saw I was following. She gave me my clothes so I could carry them myself. She took a basin and filled it up with hot water. She set it on the ground so that we could wash our clothes.

"You should probably wash your scarf, too, if you don't want it to get stained."

I looked down at my scarf. It was pretty muddy. And it would be a shame if it wasn't pure white anymore. I slowly unwrapped it from my neck. I placed it in the basin opposite from China. I dipped it in and out of the water. I couldn't look up. My neck felt so exposed. I saw China's hand reach towards me. She gave me a brush to scrub out the dirt.

I had never really cleaned anything before. I always had my sisters willing to do it for me. I felt a sort of satisfaction when I saw that I was lifting the dirt out of my favorite scarf.

Once she was done washing, China hung her clothes on a nearby tree limb. "Let's hang your scarf up, so it'll be dry before you head home," China said.

I kept my wet soaked clasped in my hands. "I don't want to go home."

China place her hands on my arms and squatted down to my eye level."I know it's scary. Sometimes you just want to run away from your problems. You want to know what I do when I'm scared?"

The only thing I could do under her beautiful gaze was nod.

She cracked a smile. "I become scarier than what's scaring me."

I laughed at just the idea of something scaring someone like China.

"You don't believe me? Watch this!" China took out her blades and cut a nearby tree cleanly in one stroke. It fell down with a big thump. "Just ask Korea. I can be very scary if I want to be."

"Big brother!" "Russia!" two small voices cried out. I was pulled to to ground by a small but strong arm. Belarus held me protectively and pointed her kitchen knife at China. Ukraine came following after and embraced me as well.

"Russia, are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?" Ukraine said.

"How dare you kidnap my big brother! I'll make you pay, you mean old witch!" Belarus spit out.

"Don't worry, your brother is free to go home with you whenever he likes." China crouched down in front of Belarus. "As for you, little miss, I like your spunk. But if you're going to threaten me, I suggest you learn how to use your weapon." China took Belarus' hand and adjusted grip. "There, that's better. I doubt you could've cut rice paper that way."

Belarus frowned a bit deeper. She didn't like being told what to do, even if it actually was good advice.

"I'd prefer you not to tell my little sister how to use a knife..." I muttered.

China laughed lightly. "See Russia? You have family to take care of. A family who obviously loves you very much. A family you need to protect."

I thought for a bit. My sisters were a bit crazy, so I guess someone needed to take care of them. Then again, I also wanted to be with China.

"Okay, I'll go home. But someday, when I'm big and strong, I'll come back. We'll be together, and you'll be my family. Then I can protect you, too."

China smiled. "Sounds good, kid. Grow big and strong for me. I'll be waiting."

I put my still wet scarf back on and grabbed my clothes. I took my sisters' hands and made the long journey home. I couldn't help but smile, even though I was leaving my flower behind. I had a new hope that I'd return someday. I put my hand in my pocket and found the last seed. I planted it under the southern window by my room. It didn't take long for it to sprout up through the snow.

* * *

Days went by and the flower grew bigger. By the summer, when the snow was gone, I was greeted by a large yellow blossom. Years and decades went by, and the flowers multiplied. Eventually, there was an entire field blooming on the south side of my house.

Early one morning, I crawled out of my window into the sunflower garden. As big and strong as I was, I had to sneak out of my old house. My sisters just wouldn't understand, and I especially didn't want to have to deal with Belarus.

Once I got through the field I brushed the leaves from my scarf. Would China like flowers? I picked a few from the edge just in case.

The day had finally come. The Mongols were gone from my house. I had driven them out long ago. My country was finally stabilized, and I was bigger than anyone else I knew. I ran faster south than the wings of the butterflies in my stomach. I had been looking forward to this day most of my life. I couldn't help but be filled with a nervous excitement. Would she really come with me? Would she even recognize me?

I came across to the edge of the jungle where I had first seen her. My eye caught a spot of red. A trampled red flower abandoned on the rock.

I ran over to China. Blood covered almost every inch of her body. How long had she been like this? Who could have done this? I was going to kill him. If only I had gotten stronger sooner. Maybe I would have been able to protect her.

I brought my ear to her chest. Her heart beat was faint, but she was still breathing. I ripped off her clothes in order to get to her wounds. I was suddenly grateful that Ukraine always made me carry a sewing kit because you never know when you might lose a button. I was too desperate to close China's wounds to care about how there were some things I knew should be there but were missing, or things that shouldn't even be there in the first place.

She had cuts on her arms and legs, but what needed the most attention was her back. Her beautiful back was marred ay a long ugly slice. I sewed it up, keeping back the rage that wanted to escape through every pore of my being. China was the most important thing right now, not revenge. I lifted her to my shoulders, careful not to harm the stitchings on her back.

I ran all the way home with China on my shoulders, praying that I was strong enough to let her live. Praying that my precious broken flower could finally be mine.


	5. Escape from Hell

The afterlife wasn't at all like I imagined it to be. I was frozen in a pool of my own blood. My hair was soaked red and spread out all around me. Everything hurt. No matter how hard tried, I couldn't move. I couldn't even close my eyes. Was this hell? I guess I shouldn't really be surprised. All of that balance couldn't make up for the sins I had done. I just didn't expect hell to be this cold.

I could hear tiny footsteps running toward me. A little boy was crying. What was a child doing in hell? What could he possibly have done? His face appeared in front of mine. His violet eyes were filled with tears behind the fringe of his platinum blonde hair. The ends of his white scarf dipped into the pool of my blood. The red traveled up his scarf, surrounding his neck.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to tell him to get away. My favorite red had betrayed me. It was corrupting everything. The cute crying boy was choking. The red was suffocating. He clung to me tighter as he started dying.

A scream ripped from my throat. My bloody hands shot out, holding him from me. The little boy smiled through the bloody red chaos. He loved it. His face was so happy. Tears of joy were running down his face. He fought me by trying to get closer to me. For his small size, he was really strong. I could feel my arms splintering under his force. Red tears pooled from my open eyes. This needed to stop! I couldn't stand this torture!

* * *

My eyes whipped open. The light was disorienting. It was a dream. All a dream. I could feel a few tears on my cheek. I could also tell I couldn't move. This wasn't the hell from my dreams, but it was pretty close. I could only wriggle a little bit. My limbs were tied down by something. My face was cold from the chilly air, but everything else was fairly warm under the blankets. There was no blood. What there was was a pair of very purple eyes staring down at me.

"Gah!" I screamed. I tried to get out of the way, but I was still tied down.

The face that belonged to those eyes smiled widely. "Oh good! You're still alive!"

"What...what am I doing here? Untie me!"

"I found you, so I carried you home."

"What? Why? Why am I tied up?"

"You were all bloody and cut open, so I carried home where I could take care of you, and you could be comfortable. I tied you up so you wouldn't mess up the stitching."

"Well, obviously I am not comfortable." I struggled against the cords. "Untie me so I can go home."

He frowned at this. "But this is home."

"No, this is your home, not my home. I have people to take care of me at my home, so you don't have to worry about me."

His smile returned. "You stay here. I'll take care of you."

I sighed. "You don't understand. I have family back home who'll be worried about me."

His face turned sour. "Who? Japan?"

That struck a chord. Like my back was being sliced open again. I winced at the memory of his betrayal.

"Japan did this to you, didn't he? I'll go and take care of him!" he said a little to cheerfully. He had a wide grin on his face.

"Oh no! You are going to stay right here!" I said.

He turned back to me and seemed even happier. "Yes. I'll stay here with China! I'll be together with China forever!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't get carried away! I didn't it mean it like that! I just don't want you going out and beating up Japan!"

"Silly China! I wasn't going to beat him up! I'm going to kill him!"

His nonchalant cruel comment sent shivers down my spine. "Over my dead body!" I said.

His face went serious. "I will never let it get that far."

"RUSSIA!" came a deep gravely voice from further in the house.

The man's face went stark white. He threw the blankets over my head and climbed into the bed with me. He hid under the covers with me. He put his finger to his lips indicating for me to be quiet. His breath was warm, making everything feel rather hot under the blankets. It was rather hard to breath. His body was practically on top of me, though he was careful not to touch me in case he touched my wounds. In a weird way, I kind of wanted him to touch me just to get the tension out of the little space between us. He smiled sheepishly yet playfully at my disapproving gaze.

No way! This huge guy was Russia? I guess I could see the resemblance. He had the purple eyes and the platinum blonde hair. And the same old silly scarf. He was even a bit of a scardey cat. He was such a cute kid back then. But what possibly scare him now?

A man dressed in heavy furs and a large beard stood in the doorway. "Russia! There's an urgent message from the others. They are calling for an emergency meeting."

Russia sat up, taking the covers off of us. He looked relieved and not scared at all. "Oh, good! I thought you were my sister! I'll be right there!" He climbed out of the bed. He joined the man at the doorway. "I'll be right back! Don't go anywhere!" He chuckled darkly to himself.

Russia had sure developed a dark sense of humor. I remembered his sisters, and I didn't remember either of them with a dark gravely voice. They were cloth too cute. With the covers off of me, I could see I was dresses in western style pajamas. It was a rather large pair of red flannel pajamas. Unfortunately, I was ties were against my skin, so I couldn't escape by wriggling out of the pajamas.

"Hey! Is anyone out there?" I called out hoping that someone would hear me.

A rather meek looking guy peeked his head out of the doorway. He was shaking rather badly.

"Is there...anything I can help you with?" he asked tentatively.

"Yeah, what's your name?" I asked. I always found that people are more willing to help you if you seemed interested in them.

"Um...Lithuania..."

"Lithuania! Would you mind untying me? These bonds are a tad too tight."

"I can't do that. Russia would get mad at me." His shaking got worse.

Looks like I was going to have to do this the hard way. "Oh, I understand. In that case, could you get me something to eat? I'm rather hungry. Some bread and butter would be nice."

He seemed to relax. "I think I can do that. I'll see what we have."

Lithuania left and came back after a short time. I gave him my best smile. "That's great! Now if you don't mind, could I feel the butter?"

"Feel the butter?" Lithuania asked incredulously. He raised a single eyebrow.

"Oh yes! It's very important in my culture to feel the texture and quality of the butter before we eat it. It's critical to know which side of the bread we put our butter."

"Okay..." Lithuania hesitantly put the slice of butter in my hand.

I squished it between my fingers. "Oh yes! Very nice!" I quickly sent the soft butter under the cord and slipped my wrist out of its hold. Before Lithuania could react, I raised my palm to his chin. My thrust hit just the right spot so that he blacked out. I didn't need much strength to do it, thankfully. His body hit the floor with a thump.

I moved quickly. I didn't know when Russia would be back. It was difficult to undo the ties one handed, but I managed. I hastened my pace when I heard more footsteps approaching.

I almost lost my footing as I got out of the bed. Just how long had I been laying there. I was stepping on the legs of the pants that were too long. I didn't have time to change clothes.

I went to the window that filtered green light. I opened it and escaped into the green thicket. The long stems were long a bamboo forest. I wouldn't be surprised if a panda popped out of nowhere. I reached the edge, and almost didn't want to leave. The air was cold. Much colder than I anticipated. Wasn't this supposed to be summer?

I pushed past my personal barrier and braved the cold. I moved my bare feet swiftly across the cold field. I convinced myself that the faster I got home, the warmer I would get.

* * *

I was nearly crawling by the time I got home. Somewhere in the middle , it felt like my sides had split open. My back and leg and arm were burning something awful. I only had a few more feet to go. I made my way to the door and collapsed on the floor.

I made a giant sigh of relief. I listened for a bit and noticed something was off. It wasn't as noisy as it should have been. Especially if I had been presumably gone for a few days. Where was everybody? I guess you know Hong Kong and Japan had an excuse, but where was everyone else.

"Teacher, is that you?" a soft voice called out.

Taiwan came from the other room with her eyes all red and her cheeks tearstained.

"Taiwan! What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Taiwan ran into my arms. She was all grown up now, but in this moment she was just a scared little girl.

"I thought you were dead!" she cried.

"Now, come one. Have you ever known anything that could kill me? Are you hungry? Where is everyone?" I comforted.

"Gone," she sniffed. "They all left once they knew..."

I didn't understand. "Where did they go?"

"Home, I guess. They all have their own homes now. We promised to keep in touch. Vietnam has been dealing with this pushy blonde westerner, and Korea is dealing with Japan. I'm not even going to stay for long."

They were gone. Even my baby sister. I smoothed Taiwan's hair and wiped the tears from her eyes. I put a smile on my face.

"You have no idea how proud I am of you. All of you. You've grown up beautifully, Taiwan."

"Maybe, I shouldn't go..." Taiwan started.

"No. Go ahead. I'll be fine. I've been alive for four thousand years. I think I know how to take care of myself," I reassured her

Taiwan nodded and then simply left, leaving me alone in the big empty house. There was only one thing I could think of to do.

I picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Hello?" A weary voice said from the other line. It sounded like he was just so tired of the world. Like he had tons weighing down his shoulders.

"Ni Hao, to you, too, you backstabbing jackass!" I said with a smile on my face.

It took a while for his response to come. "China...is that you?"

"I hope you realize that his means war. And don't you dare think I'm going to go easy on you! Do you think I'd let you off the hook that easily?"

"I thought I had killed you!" he sounded more happy and relieved than frustrated that he didn't get his job done. Even though I was really mad at him that he attacked me like that, I couldn't help but also feel happy that I had relieved some of his troubles, even if that meant declaring war against my little brother.

"Ha! You think you could kill me that easily? This old sensei still has tricks up their sleeve. Things I didn't bother to teach a grasshopper like you!"

"I look forward to it!" Japan nearly chuckled out of delight. I hung up the phone.

Well, that probably had to be the happiest, cheeriest declaration of war in all of history. I don't think I heard anyone be so happy for their enemy to be alive.

I looked around the room not quite sure what I was going to do with myself. My back still hurt, so I guess I could dress my wounds for now. It had been a while since I had involved myself in a big war. My old and new scars ached at the thought. I'd have to heal fast to get back to training as soon as possible.


	6. Russia, Pandas, and Babies

Turns out I wasn't the only one with a bone to pick with Japan. Japan had gotten himself caught up in this "Axis powers," which comprised of little Italy, Germany, and Japan. Since I had declared war on him, I was dragged into the Allies. It was nice to have others to back me up, but I'd rather not have this group. I was still had a bit of grudge against England and France. America was still just a child. And then there was him.

I could feel his violet eyes boring into me. I tried to focus on anything but him. America was leading today's meeting. It had something to do with military tactics. France's hand flicked to England's thigh. England shoved France, and France held up his arms defensively. France scooted closer to England. England elbowed France in the side. France elbowed him back. They pushed each other back and forth. I guess they weren't paying attention either. They looked like they would break out into a fist fight or a make out session.

Speaking of kissing, Russia was still staring at me. Would he just cut it out? Oh crap, he caught that I was looking back at him! I couldn't escape now. He locked our gazes together. He knew I was trapped. His lips curled up in a small cruel smile.

"So, what do you guys think? Pretty heroic of me, right?" America said suddenly as he turned back to face us.

England, France, and me jumped about a foot and a half in the air. It was like we had all forgotten that there were other people in the room.

"If that's what you want to do, mon cher," France said. He played with a piece of England's ruffled hair.

"Whatever," England said, brushing France's hand aside.

"What do you think?" he turned to Russia and me.

"Da! It's good idea, America!" Russia said with a big smile on his face. I was finally free. I wasn't quite sure how to respond. I hadn't really listened to what America had said.

"Just...be careful about it. It's best to know your own strength," I said. There. That sounded like something a "wise sage" like me would say. It just sounded vague enough to confuse him without revealing that I actually had no idea what he was talking about.

"Oh good." America sighed in relief. "I was afraid that I might have gone too far this time, but I guess nothing is really too much for a hero like me! Meeting adjourned or whatever that word means!"

His last comment had me a little worried, but I had bigger problems to deal with. Russia was getting closer to me. I tried to sneak my way out of the meeting room, but Russia caught up to me.

He stuck his arm to the wall in order to block my way. "It's not very nice to keep running away from me," he said with a bit of a smile on his face.

"I'm not running away. I'm just trying to get home. And I really wouldn't like to be tied up again," I said, trying to get past. His chest was just so broad. It's not like I couldn't get past if I really tried. I knew I could. There was just something about it that I didn't want to get past. It was inviting, like a giant hug. i could feel myself being drawn to him. And that was scarier.

"You didn't need to run away. My home is your home. I only tied you up to so you wouldn't hurt yourself," Russia said. "Lithuania is still recovering, you know."

"I didn't even hit him that hard," I started. Somehow, I knew there was a different implication behind his smile.

"Well, he let you get away while you were hurt. I had to... reprimand him," Russia said.

I shivered at the thought of what Russia's definition of reprimand meant.

"Hmm? Are you cold? If we group together, you'll be warm in no time!" Russia finally moved his arm to try to hold me in an embrace. I ducked under the arm closest to the wall and scooted along the wall away from him. Russia had an adorably annoyed look on his face. I vaguely wondered how wonderful and comfortable it would be if I actually accepted the hug. Maybe it wasn't too late...

I spotted America walking away. Yes! An escape! "Oh, there you are America! You wanted to talk to me about something?" I briskly walked to where America had stopped.

"I did?" America said with a confused look on his face.

"Yeah, it had something to do about setting up another Chinatown in New York and Los Angeles like the one in San Francisco. Let's talk about it privately in this room." I emphasized privately so that Russia wouldn't try to follow us.

* * *

I grabbed America by his jacket and dragged him into a room with an open door. I closed it behind us. I held it that way as I sighed.

"What was that all about?" America asked.

"Sorry, I was just trying to shake off Russia."

"Ugh, I know what you mean. There's just something off about him. People shouldn't be allowed to look so..."

"Cute." I nodded in agreement. Wait, did I just say that out loud?

"Um...I was going for creepy...where in the world did you pull 'cute' from?" He looked confused and creeped out at the same time.

"Ooh la la," a voice said. France was sitting in a chair with his feet on the table. He had a glass of wine in one hand and a handful of wrinkled papers in the other. He placed the papers face down on the table and smirked.

I rolled my eyes. I really didn't need him of all people right now. His thoughts always lead one direction. And it was a direction I most definitely didn't want to talk about.

"Whatever you're thinking, stop it. It's wrong. There is no way it's like that." I crossed my arms.

"Oh, there's no use trying to ignore it. L'amour obeys no one. It has a way entrapping even the strongest of us." France placed his arm around me.

"La more? What's that?" America asked.

"Love, America. China's got a crush on Russia. China just wants to keep denying it, but we all know what's going on here. China loves Russia. Russia is all China thinks about. On chilly nights, China falls asleep thinking about crawling into Russia's bed and making such hot passionate love."

America's face scrunched up. "Ugh, that's just so...wrong!"

"Exactly! So just drop it!" I added. I didn't want to think about Russia's bed. I didn't want to think o the time when we were so close. The way he looked at me when we were under the covers

"That'd make China a...wait, is China a guy or a chick?" America continued despite my objection.

France looked up in thought. Despite all these years, he had never cared to ask or remember. I rolled my eyes. Men. I couldn't believe them. Now they were even talking about me as if I wasn't here.

"I'm actually not quite sure...only one way to find out!" France's other hand reached between my legs.

In a split second, France was sprawled out on the ground unconscious. I had kicked him. In the face. I was furious. These westerners still thought they could do whatever they want. They thought they could say whatever they want. they needed to learn there are certain consequences for every action. He was lucky I was still so weak or his neck would have been broken.

"Was that really necessary?" America said. I glared at him. He flinched under my gaze. "Right, sorry. I guess I should have just asked..."

"Damn right! And for your information, I am a man, and no, I am not a homosexual. There is nothing gay about one guy finding another man cute!"

Okay, even that sounded like a bit of a stretch to me. America didn't object any further. He did, however, mumble to himself. "So scary...no wonder they're perfect for each other. If everyone keeps coupling up like this, I'll be the only Ally alone..."

I stomped out of the room. I sighed again. These young people were so tiring. I froze when saw him out of the corner of my eye. Russia had a giant grin on his face.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked hesitatingly.

"Not long. I had to get more vodka. Do you want some?" He offered me a bottle of the clear liquid. It sloshed around in the glass bottle. It looked almost half gone already.

I didn't know how he could stand to drink the stuff. "No thanks."

"Hey, China, do you think I'm cute?" He smiled even bigger.

Yes. "No. You must have heard wrong. Westerners just have no manners. You really shouldn't eavesdrop. You might hear something you don't want to." Just how much had he heard. I don't know what I'd do if he had gotten the wrong impression too.

His face fell too far. "Who did you say was cute then?"

"Frankly, you don't need to know." This was turning south fast. If I didn't get away soon, it wouldn't look good for me.

"If you tell me, I'll let you go." He trapped me against the wall again. His face was just a short distance away from me. I closed my eyes and took a breath in. He even smelled nice to me. What if I didn't want to go? What if i wanted to stay with him like this? No. France was just getting to my head. I couldn't let it be true.

"America," I finally said. "I think America is cute. So are pandas. It's not like it matters. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

"It matters to me," Russia said. I pushed his arm and briskly walked away.

What I had said wasn't exactly a lie. America was cute in a way. Babies are always cute. So why did I feel so guilty? I didn't want to turn around and see Russia's bothered gaze on me.

**AN: You want to know what I'm thankful for? Reviewers! You know what else I'm thankful for? People who go to my profile page and take the poll! Do you like to feel like you are control? Like the stories I write? Well, you won't get another Tomato Box Fairytale, but you can help decide which of the stories in my head I'm going to write next! The poll will close when i finish this story! Okay, that's it for this plug...I hope you enjoyed this chapter! ;)**


	7. Heat

I closed my door behind me. I leaned with my back against it. I let my legs give out and slid all the way to the ground. War seemed much more exhausting this way. Each battle seemed to last an eternity. It wasn't like I was losing, I just couldn't see me winning anytime soon. I tugged down at the uncomfortable sleeves of this western styles uniform. The fabric was scratchy and an icky green color. Still, it was cheap. And at least I added a red band to the sleeve.

I wiped the sweat from my brow. It had been a bit warm for the past few days fighting in the jungle. A lot of it was trekking. There were very few days when I actually found Japan to fight him. Even fewer that I could actually try to talk to him.

There was insistent knocking on the door I was blocking. That was odd. I knew very few people who would actually bother to knock.

"Let me in!" came a deep gravely voice from the other side. It had a somewhat sickly sweet tinge to it. I locked the door fast. There was no way in hell I'd let something like that in my house.

I heard a sort of scratching. I put my ear against the door. A kitchen knife came through the door at my face. I moved away the door fast. I scrambled to the kitchen and grabbed my wok. I poised to either block or defend myself when my assailant broke through my door.

Her face was pale, but heavily shadowed from her long platinum blonde. What had been tied back with a dark blue ribbon fell in front of her face. Her breathing was heavy, and her skin had a slight sheen to it. Her maids outfit was made with a heave dark blue material save for her white apron. Her pale pink lips pulled up into a creepy toothy grin. She reminded me of someone, but I couldn't quite put my finger on who.

"I found you!" she breathed.

"You do realize you're going to pay for my door." I lowered my wok.

She suddenly appeared at my side, the tip of her knife sticking into me. "I do it for Big Brother. I'll do anything for Big Brother. After all, we will be married one day."

"That...is disgusting. Ew! I don't want to even think about it! Does your 'Big Brother' know this?"

The knife stuck a bit more. "Nothing is going to keep me from Big Brother. Not even Big Brother. I don't care if he keeps on calling for you. I'll bring you to him in pieces if I have to because I love him so much."

"Oy, oy! There's no need for that! I'll come with you! Just lead the way!"

* * *

She set the pace pretty fast as we headed north. I finally fit the final piece of where I knew her.

I sighed. "You know, there are are certain qualities about you that remind me of your brother."

She pointed the knife at my neck. "You can't seduce me like you have my brother." I noted a slight blush of pleasure on her face. "I don't like you. You are not fit to be my rival. Big Brother is mine and mine alone. A silk worm like you will not take him from me."

I rolled my eyes. What the hell was wrong with this family? When had I ever, EVER, tried to seduce anyone. Let alone Russia. Especially not Russia. I couldn't let myself do that.

She practically ran when we came across Russia's house. She rushed in ahead of me. I was a few paces behind her. The weather was nice and a bit cooler than the steamy jungles I was used to.

"Ah! Bel-Belarus! Y-you're back!" I heard Russia's shaky voice from his bedroom. What was wrong with him? I walked a bit faster.

Russia's face was whiter than it usually was. It glowed with sweat. His soaked hair clung to his face. He was shaking a bit tucked under all of his covers. When he saw me in the doorway he smiled big and stabilized a bit. "China! You came to visit! That makes me very happy!"

I stepped into his bedroom. A girl with giant breasts sat at his bedroom. When she turned to me, I could see that her eyes were full of tears. "Oh, please China! You have got to help us! I'd don't know what we'd do if we lost our brother!" At brother, she hugged Russia's head close to her chest. I didn't know if it was intentional or not, but she smooshed his face against her giant boobs. That must be terribly hard to breathe.

"I don't need the silk worm's help, Ukraine, so don't speak for me. I can take care of Big Brother all by myself," Belarus said.

I repeat, what the hell was wrong with this family? I pushed past Belarus and broke apart Ukraine's suffocating hold on Russia. Russia flopped back to the bed. He looked up at me with a cute gaze of appreciation. I had to look away.

"What's wrong with him? What are his symptoms?" I said not to Ukraine's chest.

"Well, he just came back from fighting all tired, and he usually isn't like that. He was sweating and dizzy and had a headache. That never happens! Oh China, I didn't know what to do, so I tucked him into bed like I always do when he's sick, but he's just gotten worse! What's wrong with my little brother?" Ukraine sniveled.

"There's nothing wrong with brother. He's perfect," Belarus grumbled.

"For goodness sakes..." I muttered. I put my hands on the edge of Russia's sheets.

Russia smiled even wider. "Are you going to join me China? This day can't get any better!"

I ignored his comment and threw the blankets off of the bed. For Buddha's sake, he still had his winter coat and scarf on.

"What do you think you're doing?" Belarus said.

"Ukraine, why don't you go fetch some water," I said.

"Hot water?" Ukraine asked confused.

Common sense was not strong in this family. "No, Ukraine," I said as patiently as I could. "I need you to get cool water. Russia has heat exhaustion. We need to get him cooled off quickly."

Recognition dawned on Ukraine's face and she rushed off. I turned my attention back to Russia. My hands went to the the clasps of his coat.

A knife suddenly was suddenly at my wrists. "Don't you dare touch my Big Brother!" Belarus hissed.

"It's okay, Belarus! China can undress me!" Russia's grin looked like it would consume half of his face. The other half was taken up by his excited purple eyes.

"Do you want your brother to get better or not?" I said ignoring Russia's line and the frozen knife at my hands. I undid the rest of the coat. I pulled it out from under him. Next, I lifted his sweater over his head.

My hands slid down his chest. It was big and muscular and slick from sweat. His muscles rippled and trembled under my touch. It seemed so intimate. Wherever our skin came into contact, it felt like there was ice burning through my veins. Like the moment when your hands are cold from being outside and the intense moment of warm pleasure when you step back inside and regain feeling. I could feel Belarus staring daggers my way. I went back to business and headed for the waistline of his pants. My fingers fumbled as I undid the button and zipper of his pants. I couldn't think like this. I just had to do it. I whipped off his pants.

"Better?" I asked Russia, focusing on his face rather than his long muscular pale perfect body. Bad idea. He looked like a cat who had just swallowed a canary.

"Much, but you missed something!"

I only allowed my eyes to roam to his shoulders. Of course. That scarf was still there. My hands went to his neck.

"No! Not the scarf! If I have to keep my underwear on, then I get to keep my scarf, too!"

I closed my eyes and exhaled. So that was what he had been alluding to. "At least let me loosen it a bit."

He objected no further, so I unraveled his still pure white scarf a bit. The scarf draped loosely across his shoulders.

"I brought water and vodka!" Ukraine announced as she reentered the room. She was carrying a basin of water and a bottle of vodka. She blushed a bit when she saw Russia's state.

"I'll take the vodka!" Russia said.

Ukraine attempted to pass the alcohol to Russia but I intercepted. I brought the bottle to my lips and took a swig. It would help if I was a it tipsy for this. I winced as the fire went down my throat.

"Very good, but no alcohol for Russia. He's dehydrated," I choked out. "Now go and see if you can find some cooler clothes for Russia to wear.

"Right, Belarus, could you help me look?" Ukraine said.

"I don't want to. I can't leave those two alone like..."

"But Belarus, you know so much better than me what Russia wants to wear!"

Belarus hesitated, but eventually left with Ukraine. I searched around for a small bit of cloth. I settled for the red band I had pinned to my sleeve. I dipped it into the cool basin of water. I placed the soaked cloth on the shoulder closest to me.I noticed Russia looking at me. Now, don't get me wrong, he was usually staring at me, but this time it was different. He didn't look at me this way when there were others around. It was so unbearably sweet. In no way should it have been found frightening, but it shook me to the core.

"Just what are you looking at?" I asked.

"My flowers," Russia simply said. I looked behind me. Sure enough, his sunflowers could be seen in full bloom from his window. My hands found busywork wiping down the rest of his body. I found my hands lingering on his chest again.

"I really am glad you came. Maybe I should get heat exhaustion more often!"

I threw the cloth his face. "You'll do no such thing. Next time, I'll just have Belarus wipe you down! I'd bet she'd enjoy that. Then I wouldn't have to be threatened at knifepoint."

"Oh god, please! Anything but that!" Russia groaned.

My hands lingered at the edge of his bed. "Of all people, you would think that this cool weather was too hot."

"Are you kidding? It's boiling out there! It's wonderful. I get so tired of it always being cold. Is it usually hot where you are?"

"It's a range really. It can get pretty hot in the summer. Much hotter than this. But it can also get pretty cold, especially in the mountains."

"Hmm, sounds nice." Russia grabbed my hand and scooted over in the bed. The only thing I could do was lie down next to him. I don't know, it just seemed natural. "Tell me more stories from where your from!"

We just spent the next hour telling each other stories. I told him the story about the time when I had first dressed up like a guy and defeated a whole army with a single arrow. He told me the story of a princess who got turned into a swan. At night, when the moon touched her wings, she was able to turn back into a human until sunrise. Only true love would be able to break the powerful curse. Westerners were always telling stories ending this way. As if finding love would solve all of their problems. And they still clung to these stories like children.

"China," said after a moment of silence. I turned to look at him. He had that same look again. I could feel my breath hitch as his face moved closer.

"I..." he started. He was interrupted by a loud voice.

"Russia! I think I've...OH GOD, MY EYES!" I saw America in the doorway for a split second. He quickly ran away screaming for someone to burn his eyes right now.

"America, there is nothing going on!" I called out. Russia's look begged to differ. I couldn't find my self able to move any further from him. "I am fully clothed! Nothing is going on!" I repeated.

"I've seen enough horror today. And I thought telling England and France was going to be bad!" America calmed down a bit.

I didn't like the way this was going. "Tell them what?"

There was an unnatural silence from America. "What did you do?" I asked warily.

America slowly stepped into the doorway. His tan uniform was splattered in red. Too much red. His hands were soaked in red. His new weapon was covered in red. "I think I've made a horrible mistake," he said solemnly.

My mind slowly fit together the pieces I didn't want to see. There was only one enemy America had been focussing on now. Everything in Europe had basically been taken care of. That would mean...That red was...

"NNNOOOOO!" I screamed. I could feel my body coil up. Russia wrapped his arms around me in a vain attempt to keep me from exploding. He spoke low and soft into my ear, but I couldn't hear a word of what he was saying. I scratched, kicked, punched, and pushed against him trying to break free. Nothing seemed to be working, but he let me go. I rolled to the floor and scrambled to my feet. I pushed America back.

"How could you! That...that was my little brother!" I ran past him and out of Russia's house. I wasn't running away. Running wouldn't make any of this atrocity disappear. But I couldn't...I couldn't let Japan suffer without knowing that no matter what happened, no matter what we had been through, that I was still there for him. We were still family. A rather messed up family, but I guess that's just the way they are.

**AN: I hoped you enjoyed this chapter! Please be sure to review and take the poll on my profile! It would make me very happy!**


	8. Found in the Bamboo

I woke up to a cool wet sensation on my arm. I sighed in annoyance. I wiped the rest of the drool from off the corner of my mouth. My back ached as I lifted myself up. My head was pounding. I was too old to handle such stress. Or the vodka. Mostly the vodka.

Still, falling asleep this way wasn't the best idea. I would have been much more comfortable if I had gone home. I chose to stay at Japan's bedside. I had intended to stay awake, but I must have leaned over and fallen asleep.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes and opened them. I found Japan staring back at me. The last time I had seen him, he had been unconscious. He had just come back from surgery. I had seen the bloody bandages surrounding his abdomen.

"You did not see anything," I groaned.

"What didn't I see?" Japan said, amused.

"Exactly."

We were silent for a moment. Neither one of us knew quite what we should do or say. We hadn't been like this in a while. A time when we weren't forced at each other's throat.

"Look...Japan..." I finally started.

"Please allow me to apologize," Japan interrupted. There was no mood, so he felt no need to refrain from speaking. He fiddled with his hands nervously. It seemed like the only part of him that wasn't damaged. They were well trained. "I became consumed by pride. I wanted too badly to somehow prove to these younger Western nations that I was strong and independent like you. In doing that, I had out you in an unforgivably difficult position. For that, I am truly sorry."

I swept the hair on his forehead to the side. I gave a small smile. "What it must be like to be young again. You have such dreams and ideals. I'm afraid I'm not either of those things. I find that everyday I'm becoming weaker and more dependent on others. I'm also realizing that all those things are alright. That's what family's for, right?"

Japan took my hand in his. "I'm afraid I haven't been a very good big brother to you though. I should have been there to protect you. I shouldn't have let this happen," I continued.

Japan looked at me disapprovingly. "Stop that. Don't blame yourself. This was done by own stubbornness. And furthermore, we are family, but never have you been my big brother. It's not your job to protect me."

I smiled a bit wider. "It may not be my job, but I'm going to do it anyway!" I lightly pushed his arm. When he winced a bit, I softly patted it in apology.

"How long have you been here anyway?" Japan asked.

"Since before you went into surgery." I looked at the clock at his bedside table. It looked like I had been here for about 23 hours straight. No wonder I fell asleep.

"You should go home. I'll be fine. I just need some rest." Japan lectured.

"Dude, Japan, you up yet?" America peeked his head through the doorway. It didn't look like Japan would get rest anytime soon. "I visited earlier, but neither of you were up, so I went to get some burgers."

Great, so someone else had seen me drooling. I got up out of the visitor's chair and stretched a bit. A blanket that had been on my shoulders fell to the floor.

I sighed and bent down to pick it up. "Did you put this on me?" I asked America.

"Huh? No. That wasn't me. By the way, where's Russia? Wasn't he here earlier? Honestly, he's the other reason I didn't come earlier. He's just so creepy," America said.

Japan looked confused. I guess he hadn't seen Russia either. "Russia was here? Why would he come to visit me? I'm pretty sure he doesn't even like me. I'm not quite sure I'm comfortable with the thought of him being here when I'm unconscious."

That's when something caught something from the corner of my eye. A pair of purple eyes peeked into the hospital room from the tiny window on the door. The dark purple aura was leaking through the cracks of the door.

I walked over to the door and opened it. Russia made his way into the room with an unhappy smile on his face. He looked pretty tired. He had dark purple circles under his eyes. Nobody said anything.

A nurse poked her head through the room. "Excuse me, but this patient is still recovering. The doctor recommends no more than two visitors at a time."

Russia turned his gaze to her. She started to shrivel and shake in fear. "Forget I said anything. I'm sure you won't be a bother. Not that I was suggesting you would be a bother...please don't hurt me!" she whimpered.

"Da! I understand! I wouldn't want to hinder Japan's recovery." Russia grabbed my wrist. "We'll be on our way. If there's only one visitor, Japan will heal twice as fast! Then China won't have to worry about him anymore! China won't be bothered by him!" Russia moved past the still frightened nurse and dragged me out into the hallway.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" America had followed us out and grabbed hold of my other wrist. Russia looked even angrier. I was caught in a tug-of-war.

"People tell me lots of things! At this moment, you. I don't like you so much," Russia said.

"Well, whoopdedoo! Since we're getting this all out there, I don't care for you too much either, big guy! You just creep a few too many people out. But I don't see what China has to do with this!" America responded.

"Oh, because China is my..."

"Enough!" I shouted. I used their grip on my arms to flip out of their hold and clip them in their heads with my feet. It didn't do much, but at least America had the decency to pout and rub his forehead. Russia just looked annoyed and a bit astounded at the same time.

"I've had just about enough of these petty little fights!" I pointed to America. "I still haven't quite forgiven you for what you did to Japan. But I can overlook that because I know you did what you thought you had to. Learn from your mistakes and their consequences!"

I turned to point at Russia. "And you! I can't even begin to understand your obsession with me! The only thing you have against America is that I think he's cute?"

"Wait, what? You think...? That's weird. Too weird. Erasing that from my mind now..." America said to himself in the background. Neither of us were really paying attention to him.

"And let's get one thing straight. Japan is not, never has been, and never will be a bother to me. He is my family. So get over yourself and back off!"

These last words seemed to hurt Russia worse than any blow I could have placed on him.

"But, China...Japan, he...I thought...I..." Russia said, trying to search for the words that would make me join his side. He started and restarted different explanations.

"I seriously can't deal with either of you children right now. I'm out of here!" Neither of them dared to follow me as I stomped out of the hospital. I felt sick to my stomach, but I couldn't stay here any longer.

* * *

Even when I got home, I couldn't seem to relax. I made tea, but I couldn't keep still enough to enjoy it properly. I left my hot cup on the table and rushed out of my house and into the bamboo forest.

I felt so frustrated. I didn't even know what was wrong with me. Why I felt so bad. I wasn't physically hurt like Japan was. I already spoke my mind, so I didn't need to be so upset. My feelings weren't the ones who were hurt, so why did it feel like I was getting stabbed all over again?

My eyes stung, so I wiped at them. Little water droplets collected on my fingers. Great, I was crying now. I stopped walking and found a spot hidden in the bamboo to sit. I wasn't fidgety anymore, but it hurt worse to cry like this. I couldn't remember the last time I had seriously cried. My body heaved as little sobs escaped.

I heard the leaves rustle. I clamped my mouth shut. I couldn't let anyone see me cry like this. Spots of black and white shifted behind the green bamboo stalks. I moved the bamboo and could hardly believe my eyes.

A rather large panda standing on his hind legs was looking at me a few feet away. "A panda?" I said incredulously out loud. I hadn't seen a wild one in ages.  
The panda shuffled towards me hesitantly. I got up, and the panda froze. I must have startled him.

"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you, Panda." I wiped the tears from my face, having temporarily stopped crying.

The panda moved even closer to me. He was within arms length. He was a rather large panda. He stood quite a bit taller than me. His fur was so soft.

I surprised myself and Panda by wrapping my arms around him in a big embrace. I buried my face and knotted my fingers in his fur. Panda wasn't quite sure what to do. He had probably never encountered a crying nation before. Animal instinct must have kicked in because he wrapped his long furry arms around me and held me tighter. I was touched by his gesture and cried harder. I found it didn't hurt nearly as much as it did before. He nuzzled his panda face into my neck.

I laughed through my tears. "Silly panda! I'm not bamboo! You can't eat me!"

The panda must have smelt the difference, but he didn't stop nuzzling me. He must be a very friendly panda.

My tears were gone, so I released Panda. "Thank you, Panda! You have no idea how much I needed that."

Panda nodded in acknowledgement. We seemed to have a certain understanding for each other. I felt comforted by his presence. I didn't even mind as he followed me home.

**AN: Yay Panda! Sorry if you're getting annoyed by all of these author notes, but the next chapter is the chapter that I start to wrap things up. So, if you really want a say in what I write next, then take the poll on my page. Remember, I'm closing the poll at the end of this story, so I'll get started on the next. I'd like to have an idea of which story I should write about.**


	9. Anthropomorphic

"China, we are all very worried."

What was this, an intervention? Everybody had gathered in my house. Korea, Vietnam, Japan, Taiwan. Even Hong Kong had come over.

I was happy to see them all again, but I was kind of baffled to why they were all here. I hadn't been doing anything. I was just living as normally as I could. Carried out life as I had for centuries. Except for, you know, the company of an anthropomorphic panda.

Panda very rarely left my side. He would never fail to come visit me every morning. He was always so tired and would fall asleep with his head on my lap while I was meditating. We would spend the whole day together, and he would leave as the sun was going down. I had been in the middle of tea when the others came. Panda never drank the tea since he was a panda. Maybe I should start offering some bamboo...

I was currently sitting on his cozy, furry lap in the living room. I hugged his neck closer. He nuzzled me like he usually did. He still couldn't quite get it out of his head that I wasn't bamboo.

"There's just something strange about you spending all of your time with a panda," Taiwan continued.

"Stranger things have happened," I defended.

"There's just something not quite right about a panda who just follows you around all the time," Japan said.

Panda held me closer. They were probably all hurting his feelings. I patted his head.

"Look, guys this is all pretty normal for me. I have a tendency of picking up cute things in the middle of the forest and taking it home with me, if you haven't noticed."

"Yeah, but we were children. We needed you to take care of us. Panda is a wild animal. He can take care of himself," Korea said.

I could feel Panda's chest rumble as he growled quietly.

"He may not need me, but I need him," I said quietly. I found I could pretty much tell him anything, since he was a panda and all. I didn't have to keep up anymore barriers. He was good company for someone like me.

Panda stopped growling. His fuzzy muzzle rubbed the ticklish part of my neck. I giggled and pushed his face away, so I could at least maintain some composure.

"Look, I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like he's my pet or anything. He leaves when he wants to. I don't force him to stay here. I didn't force any of you to stay here."

None of them knew what to say to that. They had all left in the end. The only one I had now was Panda. So what if he was a panda?

I noticed Vietnam hadn't said anything the whole time. At least Hong Kong had nodded in agreement. "Do you have anything to say, sweetie? If you have anything to say, now's the time to say it," I said to her.

She shrugged. "You can do whatever you want. It's fine."

"Then, what's wrong. Why are you worried?"

"Russia," she said simply.

The whole room went into an awkward silence. I could tell that even Panda could feel the tension. He went completely still.

"I really don't see what that has to do with..." I started.

"I don't know what you did to him. Ever since you've basically locked yourself up here, he's gone crazy creepy. It's not even war, and the world could pretty much explode from all the tension between Russia and America. You're the only one that can possibly stop him," Japan said.

I combed my fingers in Panda's fur. I knew what I would have to do. I've always known. I've always avoided it. "I don't think I can do that."

"Please, China! You have to! Not just for our sakes, your family's. Do it for the world!"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "At least give me some time to think about it."

They filed out of my house one by one, leaving me and Panda alone once again. Panda gave me a quizzical look.

"You know, Panda, Russia isn't as bad as they make him out to be. Not many other nations have suffered as much as he has. Lesser nations would have disappeared by now. I'm afraid I haven't made things any easier for him. He really has grown to become quite strong, though sometimes he overreacts and is obsessive."

Panda just looked at me. I pet his fur as I collected the nerves. I got up.

"Alright Panda! I'm going to do it! I'm going to get things sorted out with Russia."

Panda got up as well. He hugged me again and rested his chin on the top of my head. I held him close and giggled. "I'm never going to get anywhere if we keep this up!"

He loosened his grip a bit and nuzzled my face a bit. He let me go and headed toward the door.

"You don't have to leave. I should only be gone for a little bit," I said.

Panda looked back at me and then loped off. I wondered what had gotten into him. He usually didn't leave until nightfall.

I cleaned up the now cold tea and headed north to Russia's house. I walked slower than I usually would trying to figure out exactly what I was going to say. It was going to be awkward enough as it is. Crap, I was already at Russia's house, and I still hadn't figured out what to say.

I just had to get it over with. I raised my clenched fist to knock on the door. Before I even got the chance to, the heavy door opened. Belarus stepped outside with her kitchen knife point touching my side.

"I've waited for the opportunity to kill you!"

"And hello to you, too, Belarus. Is Russia home?"

"Even if you weren't a dead man walking, there's no way I'd let you see my precious big brother. He's gone all sorts of times of the day. Then, he stays up all night and works. He's just gotten home, so I won't let you bother him. Once we're married, Russia and I will live together, and I won't let him out of my sights."

"You don't live together? What happened? You guys are meant for each other! I thought Russia couldn't get enough of you!" I said, my voice dripping in sarcasm.

The knife stuck a bit farther. It cut through my clothes and broke a fewer layers of skin. "The separation means nothing!" she hissed. "Big Brother and I are as close as ever! I doubt he'd even want to see a home-wrecking bitch like you!"

The door behind Belarus opened a crack. A large hand reached out of the house and grabbed my wrist. It pulled me in out of Belarus's reach.

Russia slammed the door closed behind me. "Go home, Belarus!" he shouted through the wood. He used the chain lock. He turned to face me. Dark purple shadows hung from his light violet eyes. Light scratching noises came from the other side of the door.

"What are you doing here, China?" Russia said. He pinned a painful smile on his face.

"Russia I've got something to tell you. I've let this get out of hand, and I'm sorry for misleading you. But I don't..."

"It's okay! I don't want to know!" Russia interrupted.

"No! It's not okay! I owe you at least this much. Russia, I've lied to you."

Russia looked confused, which was a nice change from his fake smile.

"Remember when I told you that the person I said was cute was America?"

Russia frowned and said, "Yeah."

I sighed. "America wasn't the one I thought was cute. I told him I thought you were cute."

That was embarrassing. I faced the floor and carefully gauged Russia's reaction through my eyelashes. "There. Are you happy now?"

A giant sincere smile formed on his face as what I said sunk in. "No!" he said cheerfully.

"What? After all this trouble? You have no reason to be mad at America, so just make up with him already!" I said.

Russia used both of his arms to trap me against the wall. "What man would want to be called cute? I won't be happy until you tell me I look sexy!" Russia said in his same cheerful voice.

"Wh-What! Why in the world should say that? Why would you even want me to say that?" I stammered.

"Because I love you, China!"

Now I was in trouble. Russia's face inched closer to mine. We both jumped when we heard the clang of the chain lock. Belarus had somehow opened the door. Her eye was staring daggers.

"BIG BROTHER! LET ME IN!"

"Shit! That's not going to hold her for long!" Russia cursed as he moved his hands from the wall to arm. He ran dragging me to his bedroom.

"Russia! This is way too fast! You can't expect me to..." I said exasperated.

Russia opened up the sunflower window. "I'll buy you some time! You're still going to have to run home fast!"

Oh. He was just trying to give me an escape route. What he had said had thrown me off. I climbed through the window and into the flowers. I looked back at Russia. Through the closed window, I could see his hands form a heart. He then shooed me away.

I ran as fast as I could. This couldn't possibly be happening. What was I going to do? Why did he have to love me?

**AN: Yay! More people listened to me! Thank you to those of you who voted! Now more people vote! If you're getting annoyed by this, just vote. If I have 10 people vote, then I'll stop making these reminders! How's that for incentive? Oh! And remember to review! :)**


	10. To Become One

The thing about avoiding Russia is that you can't really do it. He has this habit of popping up anytime. He always seemed to find me wherever I was.

"There you are, China!"

He had found me yet again. I couldn't let him distract me. I instead focused on breathing in and out. I was balanced on one of the upturned corners of my roof. My toes curled around the edge supporting my difficult pose. I held my leg behind me in a perfect split. My back arched as I rested my head back on my thigh. My eyes were closed in concentration of the stretch.

"You weren't at the G8 meeting. I missed you!"

I exhaled slowly. "Russia, I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. I'm not part of the G8."

"What! Why not?"

"There are more things in life than trying to accumulate the most amount of wealth in the world," I said deepening the stretch by straightening my back.

"But, you should join. All the other Allies are there. You're the only one left out."

Russia just didn't understand. I relaxed a bit by bending my lifted knee. "It doesn't matter. I just don't have the money to join your little club even if I wanted to," I explained.

"Oh, is that all!" Russia sounded a bit more relieved. I could hear the smile in his voice. "Then let's just get married!"

My foot twisted and faltered under me. It was painful as I tried to twist to keep my balance. I released my leg. I used its downward motion to flip and invert myself. I caught my fall placing my hands on the post. I kept my arms and leg straight. I could feel the blood draining to my head.

"What? Why in the world would I do that?" I said slightly out of breath.

"If we got married, you could have my money, and we could both be in the G8!" Russia said enthusiastically.

"What part of money isn't important to me don't you understand?"

My arms were starting to get tired. I wouldn't be able to stay like this much longer. I lowered my good foot to where I placed my hands. I brought myself back upright. I experimentally placed my other foot down. I hissed. My ankle hurt. I must have sprained it. Great, now how was I going to get down? I couldn't chance landing on my other ankle. If I hurt both of them, I'd be stuck.

"Are you okay?" Russia called up, concern apparent in his voice.

"It's nothing. I just twisted my ankle a bit," I said.

"Come down! I'll catch you!"

I peered down below my roof. Russia was waiting there. His arms were held up, and he had an encouraging smile on his face.

I couldn't see much else of a choice. Without much hesitation, I dove into Russia's arms. He caught me lightly and easily. Much too easily. It shouldn't have felt this good to be surrounded by his arms. He looked much too happy holding me this way. It shouldn't make me feel so elated to see him that way. I groaned internally when I realized he was carrying me bridal style.

"We'd make good married couple!" Russia continued.

I rolled my eyes. "If we're going to continue this conversation, you might as well just drop me now."

Russia just held me closer. "It doesn't have to be for money. Think of all the things we could do together when we're one! You are very flexible, da? And I am known for being biggest..."

"Biggest load of crap if I've ever heard it! You do realize I'm a man, right?"

I should have interrupted him earlier. Already, my mind was wondering. Imagining. Russia loving every inch of my body. Every fiber of himself devoted to loving me. His fingers tracing and burning away every single scar. Treating me as if I was the most delicate thing in the world. The way I would imagine his lips on my skin. The way his lips would feel kissing me. Him gently pulling my hair. His slow, steady, careful way of fusing into me. The way his eyes would look staring into mine with such pure and untainted, unstoppable love. The way he was staring at me right now.

"It doesn't matter. China is China no matter what. China will always be the one I love!"

"Russia, I..." I couldn't do this any longer. I kicked upward to flip out of Russia's arm. I remembered to land on my good foot. "Russia, I think it's time for you to leave."

"China...why do you do this every time?"

"I can't do this, Russia. I just can't."

"We don't have to get married right away. I can be very patient. I've waited so long already. We'd have to plan how to sneak around Belarus..."

"Russia, I can't marry you! Period! Now will you just go!" I hobbled over to my door. He easily followed me.

"Why, China? Can't you at least tell me why? Am I just too young? Haven't I grown up enough already? I mean it, I can be very patient. I'll wait forever if that means I can be with you."

"Russia," I said, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall from my face. I couldn't let them show. I didn't want to see Russia see me like that. So weak and vulnerable. How he would try to hold me together. I don't think I could handle that. "I'm going to make this perfectly clear. We can never EVER be together. I want you to leave. Please."

Stubbornness set on Russia's face. He chose to ignore these words along with the countless others. "China, no matter what you say, I'm never EVER giving up on you. I want to stay with you, but I see I'll just have to be a bit more patient. Good things come to those who wait, you know. I'll leave for now. I know we'll be together eventually. I've waited a very long time, so I expect nothing less than you."

He was still standing there when I closed the door. I closed my eyes. I couldn't open this door again. I just needed to walk away. But before I could really walk again, I needed to get this ankle wrapped up. I grabbed a long strip of cloth and plopped myself down in the middle of the floor. Each time I brought the cloth around, I could feel myself falling apart a bit. Why did it always have to be this hard? I could hold back no longer, and the tears flowed freely from my eyes.

Warm fur gently brushed against my face. I hadn't even heard the door open and close for Panda to get in. Panda hardly came around anymore. I figured Russia just scared him away. I had missed him so much.

Panda sat down beside me and hugged me like he usually did. Warm and protective. Like I was his alone, and he was mine. It was a touch that let me let all my barriers down.

"Panda, I'm scared," I finally admitted. He was the only one I could ever say this to. "I'm scared of Russia. I'm terrified of the way he makes me feel. I know I shouldn't be scared. I shouldn't even feel this way. I can't afford to. I can't...I can't let myself love him."

Panda continued to nuzzle away the tears that fell. I leaned against him. Could he even understand? He laid down and pulled me on top of him.

"And it's so hard, Panda. He loves me so much. He loves me so much, I can hardly stand it. It hurts so much to push him away, but I know it's better than the alternative. To let myself love him. To have myself torn apart when he leaves me. Because they always leave. I live on, and the others just disappear." Panda brought his paw to my face. "I don't think I could live with myself if I lost someone I loved."

Panda held my head to his chest. He then proceeded to roll with me along the floor.

I couldn't help but laugh. I was starting to get dizzy. We stopped with Panda on his back and me on top of him again.

Thank you, Panda!" I lifted myself up to kiss his furry cheek. "You'll always be there for me. Why couldn't I just fall for a guy like you?"

I noticed from the window that the sun was setting lower in the sky. Great, I had to go back to work like this.

"Ugh, I've got to go back to work. This is going to be another long night." I pushed myself off Panda and upright. My ankle still hurt a bit, but it was nothing i couldn't handle. Panda got up as well and followed me.

"You want to help out, too?" I asked. Panda nodded his head. "Alright, but try not to get any fur in the food. Customers don't like that."

* * *

I worked in the restaurant during evenings. I usually spent my days selling my original products. And by original I mean slightly inspired from other works from Japan and America. I don't think they'd mind too much. It was mostly original.

Working in a restaurant sucked, but it was a good source of money. It was also nice to see the faces of the people who enjoyed my food. Plus, it helped that Panda was here. He didn't really do much. He mostly followed me around. He was pretty much the only thing that made this night bearable.

Why in the world was Belarus here? Did she hear that Russia had proposed to me? I saw Panda show a guy to her table. Wait. That couldn't be Lithuania, could it? Was Belarus here on a date? With someone other than her brother? She did look awfully dressed up. She didn't look to happy, though. Then again, did she ever really look happy?

Panda was back at my side as I went to deliver their dumplings. "I hope you enjoy your stay here. Please enjoy, aru!" I said a bit too cheerfully. It was like I was gloating over her. I even added my old "aru" habit. Like now that she was taken, I could have Russia all to myself. It was ridiculous. I thought I told myself not to think that way. I couldn't let Russia be mine.

There was a bit of a commotion at their table. I didn't quite see what happened, but Lithuania seemed to be giving Belarus a gift. A ribbon. His other hand was stuck to the table. I frowned. Those bloodstains would take forever to get out of the table cloth. Belarus put the new ribbon in her hair. She pulled apart her old bow at the not, revealing a tiny knife.

She ran towards us. So this was how she was going to make her move. I prepared myself to deflect her blow. However, I wasn't prepared for this. She pushed the knife into Panda.

I was in shock. "Aiyah! What have you done to Panda?" I screamed. Not him. He was supposed to be there for me. How dare she hurt him?!

There was something wrong. Belarus shied her knife down Panda's stomach. There was no blood. She pulled back on his fur revealing a coat and a long scarf. Panda lifted his hands to his head and lifted it off.

"Russia..." I said in disbelief. "Why are you here?" Anger colored my voice. How dare he? How could he?

"Big Brother..." Belarus said with a sees of satisfaction.

"Belarus! China! It's not what you think!" Russia pleaded. His eyes were frantic purple.

"You promised me a date, Big Brother. And you planned to trick me. I forgive you. I'll even help you keep your promise." She grabbed his arm and dragged Russia away. I let her.

"China, please! You've got to understand!"

"I don't want to understand, Russia. Was it all a lie then? Was I just some sort a game to you? Did you just want to find where I'm vulnerable? How you could hurt me the most? I hope you're satisfied. I don't want you anywhere near me."

"China, no! That's wrong! I would never..."

I walked away. I went through the kitchen to the back exit.

See? I reminded myself. This is why I shouldn't get close to people. Life had so much pain. Maybe, it was about time for me to just disappear.

**AN: You guys are almost there! Just two more votes until 10 people have voted. I would like to thank all the people who voted and reviewed! You guys are awesome! So far, it looks like the Ameripan is going to be what I write next...**


	11. What's Missing

"Oh, I just love weddings!" My sister said excitedly beside me. Her giant boobs bounced up and down as she shook in excitement. She usually didn't have time to go since she was poor and had to work so hard. I'd never gone to a wedding with Ukraine before. Well, I wouldn't say with. She said she was only going with me because she was invited, too. Her boss was strange and didn't want us to interact with each other. I understood, though. Bosses could be quite strange and demanding.

Usually I was dragged along to weddings by Belarus. I guess she thought that it would give me some sort of idea. Yet, the invitation specifically said no Belarus. I grabbed the white card out of my jacket and read it over one more time.

"You are, like, cordially invited to the wedding of Poland and Lithuania. I'm like super excited! R.S.V.P and whatever. What does that mean anyway? Maybe France will know...oh, she says it means respondez, s'il vous plait. Well, do that, just don't bring Belarus! She is SO not invited. I'm only inviting you so I can show off Lithuania is mine. Mine! Muahahaha! Anyway, it'd still be like awesome if you came."

It was pretty hard keeping it a secret from Belarus, but I somehow managed it. I opened up the doors to the church. It seemed like everyone was there. Well, everyone except Belarus. Lithuania looked busy with the other guests. He flinched when he saw me. I smiled at him.

"Mr. Russia! What a pleasant surprise! What are you doing here?" he stammered.

I flashed him my invitation. "Poland invited me."

"Ah," Lithuania seemed to nod in understanding. "Poland did go a little overboard in the invitations. Not that you wouldn't have been invited, of course!" he said nervously.

I smiled at the others beside him. They looked as if they were as nervous as Lithuania. It had been a while since I had seen the Baltics. Estonia and Latvia moved slightly behind Lithuania. They were wearing matching suits. They must be Lithuania's groomsmen. It reminded me of the time we all lived together. They sort of made my sisters bearable.

In the auditorium, I found a seat on the right side. The room became pretty full. Lots of people I hadn't seen for a while we're here. A few of them were quite different from what I remembered.

The ceremony started. Lithuania stood alone up by the alter. Eventually, Estonia came in escorting France. France was wearing a low cut magenta dress. That wasn't really the surprising part. The surprising part was that France was a girl. As she walked down the aisle she found England in the crowd. He looked pretty cross. She winked at him and blew him a kiss.

Next came Latvia escorting Italy. I still got a little shocked to see her as a girl, though I already knew she was. I was at her wedding to Germany after all.

"Mamma!" a little voice cried. Her little voice filled the room. The source was a cute toddler with wavy strawberry-blonde hair in Germany's lap. With an amused look on his face, Germany quietly shushed her. Italy turned to the girl and smiled brightly. She waved at her little girl. Italy took her place at France's side on the left. Their dresses were the same color, but Italy's was cut a bit more modestly.

The traditional song came on. Poland appeared at the entrance. Everybody looked back to her and got up at her presence. Her dress was the lightest pink. Light, transparent pink, lacy layers flowed over her long skirt creating flowing ruffles. Her hair was simple and framed her glowing face. Small little white and pink wildflowers were weaved into her hair. She was positively beaming as she hiked up her skirts and ran down the aisle. She grabbed both of Lithuania's hands and bounced excitedly on her toes. She showered kisses on Lithuania's face despite the continued shock of the audience. She waved for the priest to start the ceremony already once she had finished kissing Lithuania.

Lithuania was in awe of Poland. He looked as ecstatic as she throughout the whole ceremony. His face was smudged by pink lipstick. They couldn't keep their eyes off each other the whole time. Lithuania and Poland slipped the rings on each other. At the appropriate time, Lithuania had a huge smile on his face. He placed his hands on the small of Poland's back. She locked her hands behind his neck, grinning in anticipation. He pulled her up into a deep kiss. They kissed several times despite the growing uncomfortableness of the audience. They stopped kissing, and the room cheered.

* * *

I swirled the bubbly drink in the glass. It was so weak. I reached into my coat and got out my vodka bottle and pored a bit onto the champagne. I tasted it. Much better.

I couldn't help but think of China. I wish she was here. I would have liked to take her. She'd probably wear her favorite red. She'd probably disapprove of my adding vodka to the champagne. She'd say it'd already had alcohol in it. She'd probably yell at me for referring to her as she all the time. I couldn't help it. That's just the way I always thought of her. Beautiful, strong China.

"Yo, Russia!" America came up beside me.

"Hello, America."

"Do you know where China is? I wanted to talk about business."

Ow, that hurt. It hurt more than I anticipated. "Sorry, America. I don't know where China is."

"Really?" America said, clearly stunned. "I thought you'd know for sure because of your super stalking ability. No one has seen China in forever. But seriously due, you need to work on that creepiness. Get a hobby or something."

"I do have hobby," I said.

"I really hope like that doesn't involve partitioning me," Poland said. She was practically joined to Lithuania as they expanded our little group.

I smiled at the memory. "Ah, good times!"

"I don't quite remember them as good..." Lithuania mumbled.

"Congratulations, man!" America clapped Lithuania on the back. "Ya managed to snag a chick!"

That reminded me of a question I had been meaning to ask. "Lithuania, how did you make Poland say yes?"

"Make me?" Poland said.

"Um, well, I didn't make her do anything. I just asked her, and she said yes before I even finished getting the question out."

"It was adorable. He was so nervous." Lithuania looked eyes full of love at his new bride.

"Hi...I hope I'm not interrupting. We'd just like to offer our congratulations!" Finland joined us. He had in tow a very tall blonde with long hair. Their fingers were intertwined.

"I'm glad you could make it, Finland! Who's this? I don't believe we met," Lithuania said.

Finland had a huge grin on his face. "It's m'wife!" he mumbled enthusiastically.

The woman blushed. "I'm Sweden," she said. She pushed her glasses up her nose.

Everyone did a double take. Last I remembered, Sweden didn't have boobs. She fiddled nervously, uncomfortable with the sudden attention.

"Whoa! When did this happen?" America asked.

"Last Christmas, I asked Sweden to live the rest of our lives together. Once we finished our dream house, we got married," Finland recalled.

"Nothing fancy. Just a small wedding," Sweden added.

Finland pulled Sweden down and gave her a small peck on the cheek. She blushed again.

"Did someone say wedding?" France was coming toward us with her arms linked with Italy and Spain. England and Romano were sulking behind. France was sporting England's jacket over her dress.

"Can't we just go home already?" Romano complained to Spain. "The potato-bastard got to leave."

"Germany has to take care of a kid. He's got bedtime duties. And did you seriously just compare yourself to Germany?"

"I've got a half a kid..." Romano said.

Spain took Romano's hand and placed it on her bulging stomach. She grabbed his face and pulled him down to a kiss. "And when our little tomato gets here, you can make all the excuses you want. Just wait a little while longer. We can leave in a bit."

"Romano, you're such a party pooper! Let Spain have her fun while she still can! Speaking of weddings, where's your little China?" France winked at me.

"Dude, China just straight up disappeared! Not even Russia knows where he is! Not to be a bummer, but he was getting pretty old. He's about as old as England, isn't he? I'm just saying, he could've..."

"Just wait a minute! I'm not that old! China was way before me. France would know about that more than me!" England said.

"For the last time, I am not that much older than you!" France quipped.

"Grandpa Rome told me a long time ago that China had been around for a long time before he even existed," Italy added.

The mood went somber. Everyone knew the the Roman Empire had been gone for a while now. Few believed he was actually still alive. They all looked at me with such sympathy. I knew better. China was much too strong to disappear like that from me.

"Why everyone so sad? China'll come back to me. In mean time, think happy thoughts. Weddings are happy times! Don't you remember when you got engaged?"

Italy's face was bright. "Germany was so sweet! He brought me to the field of flowers that we played at when we were kids and proposed to me there!"

"How romantic!" France said. She had a smirk on her face. England was looking more and more uncomfortable.

"Well, I guess I was the one who proposed to Romano. I just thought it'd be fun!" Spain said.

"Ha! Fun? You call that stressful as fucking hell fun?" Romano said.

"We did have a lot of fun afterwards..." Spain insinuated.

Romano blushed bright red. He didn't have any more to say about that.

"Oh! So you're the one who asked him and he actually said yes? Fascinating!" France said again, her smirk only growing larger. "Poor me. I'm the only one not engaged. To think that the love of my life rejected me."

"Oh, for pity's sake, I was drunk! And you were a man! How could you possibly expect me to say yes?!" England blurted out. "You want to get married so bad? Fine, let's get married!"

"No!" France said quickly.

"Agh! Then what the hell do you want from me?!" England said in acute frustration.

"Oh, I know for a fact you can do better than that. I want your absolute best." She smiled at England's torment.

"Woman, I haven't the faintest..." England groaned loudly when he finally understood what France meant. He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Volume 3...page 35...paragraph 2."

France's face started to gleam. Her smirk shifted to a genuine smile. "Closer, but you're going to have to say it all out loud, mon cher."

England opened his eyes. He didn't expect France to look so stunning. His irritated look faded. He started to look embarrassed. He grabbed France by the hand and led her away and out the door. She winked and waved goodbye to us.

"You sure seem to be interested about this, Russia. It's not like you to think so romantically. Any particular reason why? I mean, you don't have to tell us if you don't want to." Lithuania asked.

"No reason. But how did you know you would always be together? How did you know that you both loved each other?" I asked. I needed to convince China somehow. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't accept my love. How could I really tell if she loved me back?

"True love's kiss," everyone said at once. I was surprised. I hadn't expected the answer to be so unanimous. Was that all there was to it? It's true, I hadn't ever kissed China...

"I guess there's just something magical about a kiss..." Italy said whimsically. The couples looked longingly at each other.

Spain broke the temporary silence by yawning.

"Alright, now we really should go," Romano said.

Spain nodded. "Veneziano, do you want us to take you home?" Spain asked.

"Yeah, Germany could probably use a little break. Not that he'd ever admit it," Italy said. The three of them left together.

"We should go home, too," Sweden said.

Finland squeezed her hand. "Okay, honey. Thanks again for inviting us! I hope you have a happy life together!"

Sweden nodded in agreement. They left together, hand in hand the whole time.

* * *

More and more people left as the night went on. I snuck Ukraine home in the dark.

"Did you have a nice time?" I casually asked her.

"Mmmhmm, it was a nice wedding," Ukraine said.

"That's nice. I'll see you around, I guess. Or not," I said and smiled gently to her.

"Russia, are you...okay? I know I haven't exactly been there for you lately..."

I hugged my sister. It was rather uncomfortable. Her boobs were a bit too big. "Thank you, сестра."

She hugged me back gently. "I hope the best for you, брат."

It was late by the time I made it home. I didn't bother to turn on any lights. I made my way back to my room and flopped down on my bed. The dark air was quiet and alone. I rested my arm over my eyes. The nights were always the hardest. My thoughts always drifted to China. I missed her so much, it was driving me mad.

**AN: Thank you to you all! You have no idea how much I appreciate you reading this! Especially those who reviewed and did something else. You know what you did ;) I really you guys have been enjoying this little story!**


	12. Red Scarf of Fate

It hurt as the heavy water flow hit my neck. I had started to nod off again. Damn, had I gotten used to sitting under this waterfall already? I was just so exhausted. I haven't been able to go to sleep.

Usually, these meditation trips centered my life. Relaxed me. Relieved my stress. I hadn't gone on one in what seemed like centuries. And never had to stay nearly this long. My mind still felt so jumbled.

At least this trip hadn't been completely useless. With no distractions, I had built myself back nearly to where I was before. And at least I didn't feel like disappearing anymore. That was a dangerous path. I couldn't let myself do that. There were too many people who...

I shook my head. My thoughts were getting messed up again. I had to find a conviction and stick to it. Regardless, it was time for me to go home.

I took a shallow dive into the river away from the torrent of the waterfall. The water was calm and slow moving compared to the violent waterfall. It felt good to have all that pressure off. I swam over to the bank where I had hung my clothes on a tree limb. My hair fell into my face as I slipped my clothes back on. The water must have pushed my tie off. I went through my pockets to find another. I pulled my wet hair into a low ponytail.

I stretched a bit, prolonging the inevitable. I just had to do it. I took a step into the steep, mountainous jungle on the long road home.

What would I do when I saw him? What should I say? I needed an explanation. I needed to explain...

I didn't have much time as I would have liked to think. All to soon, a spied the back of a large black and white bear.

I sighed and smiled to myself. He had always been persistent. To think that he had found me all the way out here.

"Russia..." I called out. The panda didn't respond in any way. He wouldn't even look at me.

I sighed again. I must have hurt him really bad. "Russia, we need to talk." I stepped closer to where he sat. He still didn't respond.

"Are you even listening to me? I said..." I touched his shoulder.

He finally turned his head. This wasn't Russia. This was a panda, but not my panda. He looked bothered that I would interrupt his meal time. He stuffed another bamboo stalk into his mouth.

"Sorry," I apologized to the ordinary panda. "I mistook you for someone else."

The panda looked at me as if I was insane. Like how I could possibly mistake a regular panda for someone. Like I was actually apologizing to a simple panda. I guess old habits die hard. He didn't seem to mind when I gathered more bamboo for him to chew on, though.

I rubbed the back of my neck as I continued on my way home. That was a little embarrassing. I had been thinking about him too much. Not every panda I ever came across was going to be Russia. Plus, Russia didn't need to dress up as a panda anymore. I already figured out it was him under the costume. Not to mention that the costume had been cut to shreds. He probably had better things to do than wait around for me.

The jungle cleared up enough that I could start to see my house. I sighed in relief. I was utterly exhausted. I couldn't wait for the time I could get some rest.

But then, something sent me falling off the edge. Facts slipped through the sieve one at a time. Russia was here. Russia was slumped in front of my doorway. Russia had red spilling everywhere around him.

"No!" The scream clawed its way out of my throat. "Russia!"

I didn't think. I ran over to where he was. "Nonononononononononono! This can't be happening! Not Russia! Anyone but Russia! Don't let him leave me!" I muttered without knowing. My eyes were blinded by stinging tears. I tripped over something invisible and crawled my way over to his body.

"China!" Russia said enthusiastically. "I missed you soooooooooooooooooooooooo much!"

I was shocked. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. How was this possible? I swore I saw...I ran my hands along his body. His clothes were not soaked with blood. He had no wounds. My Russia was safe and sound and here with me.

"Russia? Why are you here?" I was a bit confused, but a whole lot calmer. It was the same hug as Panda. It had a relieving effect. Yet, it had this seeping warm effect on me now.

"I was waiting for you to come home. You missed so much! Italy had a kid. Lithuania married Poland. England and France finally got together, only France is a girl now..." Russia saw the look on my face. He produced an angry pout. "Stop it. Why are you so sad? You're home now. That's a good thing."

"Russia you scared me half to death...I thought you were dead. I thought...I thought you left me." I was surprised by my honesty. It was like after all that time away, I simply couldn't hold back anymore. It was frightening. It was wonderfully frightening.

Russia suddenly brought his face to mine. He kissed away the remnant tears. My mind short-circuited. Is this what he meant when he nuzzled my face as Panda?

"I didn't leave. You're the one who left me. I could never leave you. I don't even think I could die unless you came with me," Russia said sadly.

"Russia..." I started.

"But sad times are over! You came back! That reminds me!" Russia stopped hugging me. He separated us by wedging his arms between our bodies. He brought forth the source of the red. His face was beaming.

"I made this for you! Ukraine taught me how to knit! Look, it's red! Our favorite color. I made a stitch every time I thought of you."

It was a scarf. I really long scarf. An exceedingly long scarf. I scarf that would have no practical use it was a scarf that you could wrap around your entire body twice and still have a ten foot tail behind you.

"Pathetic..." I said out loud. It was pathetic how in love with this moment I was. How in love with him I was. How I had actually convinced myself I could live without this. Without him. How could I actually think I was living?

Russia pouted again and fidgeted nervously. "I messed up a few times, but I tried my best. I could redo some of it if you don't like it..."

"Mine would have been ten times longer," I said. One stitch for every time I thought of Russia? There wouldn't be enough yarn in the world. Not if I lived for four thousand more years.

"Well, I had to start over a couple of times." His smile became blinding as he realized what I just said.

I was embarrassed. I couldn't quite look at his face. I ran my hands over a fraction of the length of the scarf. Russia's hands went to my waist. He pulled me closer to him.

"China, do you love me?" he asked teasingly. "Do you think I'm sexy?"

I placed my scarf around the scarf he was already wearing. I used the tails to pull myself into him.

I kissed him. I kissed him so much differently than kissing my siblings goodnight. I kissed him so much differently than the way westerners greeted me. I kissed him with every ounce of myself. I kissed him in a way that there could be no mistake, no confusion, of how much I loved him to the core.

And he kissed me that way back. We were fire and ice. Passion and yearning and longing all rolled up into a tangled burning red scarf. A red string of fate binding us forever. I couldn't see it until now.

We broke apart panting. "Does that answer your question?" I breathed.

We weren't apart for long. Russia returned to my lips again and again, barely leaving anytime for me to catch my breath. I was getting dizzy.

"Get off of him you, bitch!" someone keened. A kitchen knife wedged its way into the wall of my house centimeters away from Russia's face.

He took on a grayish tint. He could see what was behind me. "Belarus..."

It had come to this already. I reluctantly let go of the hold I had been clinging onto Russia. I weaved and bent out of the weaves of the scarf binding me to him. Russia looked as though his heart had been ripped out.

"That's right, bitch. Disappear again or I'll kill you. Either way, you're dead," Belarus sneered, sensing an easy victory.

I stepped away from Russia and towards his sister.

"I should have don this ages ago. With you finally and forever out of the picture, Big Brother will be mine." Her knife streamed across my clothes, trying to bring further humiliation. "How could he ever love you anyway? So decrepit and useless. He loves me so much more. You can't break our bond."

"Are you finished?" I asked completely monotone.

She was stunned. Her threatening words had absolutely no effect on me. I reached for my back and pulled out my twin sword I had strapped beneath my clothes. Did she really think I would have been gone for that long without any sort of weapon?

I didn't give her time to process. I swung again and again. Her dull kitchen knives stood no chance. Some were cut clean in half. I pushed her back. She tried to use what little she had left to fought back, but I wouldn't let her anywhere close. This was my prime. I was unstoppable. She thought she was scary? She obviously didn't know her history.

She stumbled down and tried to scramble away. I used my sword to pin her sleeves to the ground. There was no room for her to tear her way out. I sat on her thighs.

"Now, you listen here, bitch," I said spitting the word back at her. "I don't know where in your sick twisted demented mind you could ever think that you could take something of mine away from me. That's right, Russia is mine. And if I ever, ever, have any reason to believe that you somehow doubt my possession of him, I will not hesitate to slice you up piece by piece and use your blood to dye my bed sheets. Do you understand that, bitch?"

Belarus stared indignantly up at me. My glare did not waver. Hers did. She slowly lost her grip. Then she started wailing out of pure terror. She wriggled, not trying to fight me. She was desperate to escape.

I rolled my eyes. She was still just a child. I got up and pulled my swords from the ground and wiped away the dirt. She couldn't get away fast enough. She ran through the jungle back to her home.

"That was really scary," Russia said. I was a bit confused by the ridiculous smile on his face.

"Sorry about that," I said warily. "I just wanted to scare her a bit."

"It's alright. Belarus should be scared more often."

Now I was scared. Why was Russia this happy. He wasn't far from me now. His hands went through my tattered shirt. I flinched at the unexpected and sudden wave of pleasure when his fingers found my breasts.

That's right breasts. I somehow had my boobs back. I was a woman again.

Russia practically giggled from ecstatic happiness. "They're real! They're really really really really really small, but they're real! I always knew you were a girl!"

I made a face at him brushed his hands away. I knew they were small. He didn't have to add the five reallys. So what if I didn't have super gigantic Z-cups like a certain sister of his? I headed back towards my door.

"Don't be mad China! I like them I really do! I don't even like big boobs, honest! Hey, I'll take off my shirt, too! Then, we'll be even!"

I ignored his attempts at trying to undo what he unthinkingly said. I found one end of the scarf. I lifted it off the ground and wrapped it around my naked chest.

Russia grabbed the scarf and pulled, trying to unravel me. I held the warm wool fast.

"That is not how you wear a scarf he grumbled from behind me. He couldn't unravel me, but he could pull my body against his bare chest. The burning sensation had me shocked still, but not Russia. His large hands nearly encircled my waist. His lips were at my neck. His hands travelled up and down, trying to seek shelter in the hem of my pants and the folds of the scarf which has somehow become a bit looser. I twisted around and let my hands do their own exploring. I couldn't cover as much ground as he could. His chest was so broad and his muscles so irresistible. I felt pleasure in knowing I would have all the time in the world t discover every inch of him.

For now, I just settled for bringing myself up for another kiss. I made up for our height difference by placing my elbows on his shoulders and knotting my fingers in his hair. My legs wrapped around him, securing myself in place. I don't know how, but Russia skillfully maneuvered our collective happiness all the way home.

* * *

**AN: *sniff, sniff* Don't you just love happy endings? :') It has been a long journey, but this marks the end of the Tomato Box Fairytale series. I loved making it so much, and I love how you guys have stuck with me the whole way. No worlds can describe it.**

**Anyway, now for the official results of the poll. Drum roll...Ameripan won! In the not so s distant future, please look out for a little story called Critical Hit.**


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